Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML
Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML
Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year-old virgin. FML
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML
Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML
Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, my 14-year-old sister asked me how I felt when I first had sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said, "I thought it was nice." I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML
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Top comments
kut17 11
Unless her name is Jesus, she is not the brightest star in the sky.
TheMaster15 10
If or some reason, I don't think she's been taught the birds and the bees yet...
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Comments (195)
ideasrule 13
You're assuming your daughter is stupid, right? I think she's just better at sarcasm than you are.
starbucksguy 16
It's a great way of letting her know she's adopted though...
zolziski 11
Maybe your daughter was being sarcastic right back at you?
wannabesinger 16
That's how I took the FML! OP should be more open with her daughter when it comes to talking about sex. Studies show that kids who were able to be open with their parents when it came to sex were less likely to become teen parents.
perdix 31
She could be a test tube baby, one conceived by in vitro fertilization. Immaculate conception is now technically possible, but it's so expensive, most couples try the old-fashioned way a lot before they let science give them their miracle.
Calingaladha 21
Also, I imagine having your cherry popped while giving birth would be outrageously uncomfortable.
Metallica36176 16
She probably gets it but just wanted to make a comment about you being uptight.
jollyton 10
Lmao! Does she think that babies really come from storks?
dani115 6
I learned how babies were made in my late years of elementary and i wasn't a teenager back then.... She's a teenager now??? She mustn't be the sharpest tool in the tool box.... She needs the talk but this time dumb it down for her please.…
pooldude 24
Well 2 things happened here 1. You learned u are uptight and 2. Your daughter is a fool
ChakatBlackstar 29
Was the girl adopted? Because then it's quite possible for a mother to be a virgin. Unlikely, but possible.
haitaku 1
Your daughter is unbearably stupid.