Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML
Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML
Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year-old virgin. FML
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML
Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML
Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, my 14-year-old sister asked me how I felt when I first had sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said, "I thought it was nice." I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML
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Top comments
kut17 11
Unless her name is Jesus, she is not the brightest star in the sky.
TheMaster15 10
If or some reason, I don't think she's been taught the birds and the bees yet...
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Comments (195)
CarouselHeart 11
Why were you so damn defensive about the subject anyway? YDI.
ravecookiez 6
The daughter could have been adopted.
beebeeL 1
why you gotta be such a bitch to her ? you probably do need to get laid. or smoke a joint.
drller331 4
You should have had an abortion it sounds like
soteloalbuq 1
parenting, you are doing it wrong
beclaurela 18
I think something went wrong in the path of raising her.
AidenSurvival 7
Hello VirginJenny, I can cure your daughter's virginty in three simple steps. They are: 1.) Walk away. 2.) Face palm. 3.) Walk away.
kingbot0111 4
Umm to have a baby u need to have sec
lostcrazydiamond 10
To spell sex you need to have an x. Oh, and a y and an o on the u would be nice as well.
devore504 7
everybody uses u when online or texting even my mom. so u should have stopped at need a X or before that since everybody knew it was a typo.
wpolo02 7
Sounds like you probably do need to get laid
Gwam1789_fml 2
Well the daughter could have been adopted. She is not so dumb after all.