Today, my friend told me to try dating apps, saying, “What's the worst that could happen?” I just finished paying some girl $100 to not send a dick pic to all my Facebook friends. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was texted out of the blue by a girl I treated to dinner last year. Since then, we'd chatted and met in passing a few times, but she'd turned down or cancelled all my other date invitations. Sadly, she wasn't trying to meet up. She wanted $500 to benefit a male friend, who was down on his luck. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me with a message that I had to pay $1 to see. FML
Today, I realized my habit of asking people for money came to an all time high when I asked a girl to Cash App me $5 through Instagram. She literally sent me A PENNY, said, “Quit fucking asking me for money fam” and then blocked me. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML
Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML
Today, I was hitting it off pretty well with a girl I met through a dating app. However, she's never going to speak to me again because I also happened to "match" with her friend. How was I supposed to know they knew each other? FML
Today, after being played like Playstation 5 by so many girls, I decided to give a chance to the girl who used to be my best friend and who I turned down. I went on Facebook to hit her up. First thing I see on my feed is her engagement photos. FML
Today, after 4 years of being single, I decided to go back to the dating scene. I downloaded Tinder. My matches run for the hills as soon as I show them a full body pic of myself. One guy even told me to delete the app from my phone, because if “guys wanted to go whaling, they’d go out to sea.” FML
Today, I went on two dates from a dating app. The first one said halfway through that we couldn't date because it would break his contract. The second one catfished me. This is why I have multiple dates in one day. They never end well. FML
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Top comments
Ghostrui 31
Don't send dick pics to strangers.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
So you meet a girl on a dating app, and the first thing you do is send her a dick pic? I just have to ask, are you that out of touch with social situations?
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Comments (58)
Ghostrui 31
Don't send dick pics to strangers.
Ella_fml 17
I'd go with just don't send dick pics to anyone...
alycion 39
Yup because 9 out of 10 times, if someone is asking for one, it’s not to screw you in the way that you want.
RichardPencil 32
That’s not the worst. She could take the money, distribute the pic and say she’s a 12-year-old girl. I avoid this situation with such an elegantly simple solution: my dick pic is my FB profile pic! I’m untouchable!
Giovanni Adamo 16
sure that wont backfire if reported
NostalgiaFreak9 43
So you meet a girl on a dating app, and the first thing you do is send her a dick pic? I just have to ask, are you that out of touch with social situations?
thefmlman2011 37
OP and the girl would of started talking, sjed ask him to add her on Facebook and then she'd go "if I send a nude, do you want to send me a dick pick" and then she'd go "if you don't give me X amount of money, I'll send the dick pic to everyone on your Facebook account."
Ledzepisrovering 2
That's what I was thinking. We are not sure how long they have been talking or if she asked for it. Either way, won't it be revenge ****?
TeacherTeacher 11
This sounds like an excellent business model. So much better than driving for Uber.
jobtokyo 8
Be careful, as long as she holds that picture, you are under her thumb. She could extort money out of you every week.
clair_brodie 35
Not necessarily. There are protections in place for people who do revenge ****. The person with the picture could be charged.
Siobhán Joanne Weiss-Donnelly 10
Don't send unsolicited dick picks... it really isn't rocket science.
Beetle717 7
Who said it was unsolicited.
bl3ur0z3 17
The worst that can happen is you go off course and do something stupid like send a random girl a (likely unsolicited) dick pic because you don't know how to be a decent, respectful human being.
WeirdUS 30
Yeah...no sympathy. YDI learn to be a respectful person. At what point did you think this was going to be a good idea?
Suaria 38
Why did you think sending a dick pic was a smart idea?
RichardPencil 32
Why is everyone assuming his dick pic was unsolicited? And who says he sent it immediately? I’ve heard some girls actually ask for them.
Sinshine 28
Noone said they think he just sent it without being asked. She probably asked for it for the purpose of extorting money from him. That doesn't make it any less stupid. You just shouldn't send things like that to people you just recently met on the internet. Some might argue you should never, but certainly not to some random person from an app.
RichardPencil 32
Several people used the word “unsolicited.”
Jorn van der Ar 13
The story does not say he'd sent it at all. Who says it's his dick pic?
RichardPencil 32
Why would you pay $100 to prevent the revealing of a rando dick?
raven_of_azarath 35
Maybe it’s an embarrassingly small dick, and he doesn’t want his friends to think it’s his?
Gubbon 17
Well, if you never include your face and genitalia on the same picture, nothing can really happen.