Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML
Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML
Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year-old virgin. FML
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML
Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML
Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, my 14-year-old sister asked me how I felt when I first had sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said, "I thought it was nice." I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kut17 11
Unless her name is Jesus, she is not the brightest star in the sky.
TheMaster15 10
If or some reason, I don't think she's been taught the birds and the bees yet...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (195)
cluch3 22
How the hell did you have her if you are still a virgin?
Scarymonkey447 9
The stupid hurts
notrealfmls 1
She's a daughter she should know That more than anyone
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I carefully put my phone down after reading this. Then I picked it back up again to type this.
fantasyworld 39
I can't handle the stupidness.
Creepyorfunny 10
Doesn't the daughter know about adoption? If so, why didn't she think of this when you replied with your sarcastic comment?
JoleneDaniel 12
I have no words.