Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML
Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
Today, I had a horrible date with this guy I’ve been seeing. He wanted me to give it up, but I wasn’t ready, so he dumped me on the spot. I went home crying to my mother and her response was, “Stop being such a prude! What are you? Ten? Grow the fuck up!” Thanks mom. FML
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML
Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I said I wouldn't find her attractive in 20 years. What I actually said was that I wouldn't sleep with her mother now, who happens to be 20 years older than her. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I was sad, but the only thing my mom could say was, "You should have waited until I got him to mow the lawn." FML
Today, my mother found out that my fiancée broke up with her last boyfriend because she didn't want kids and he did. She's now demanding that I either change her mind, or call things off with her. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML
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Top comments
catatonicsleep 17
It's up to you, doesn't matter what anyone else says
Fall3nAngel 23
Great mum you've got there.
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Comments (160)
Yeah_Thats_Me 0
She's got a point. Why would you break up with someone for that? Unless you believed in no sex till marriage and such. I dunno.
Guren 0
never be pressured into losing your virginity. that's how you lose it to the wrong person and love with the mistake for the rest of your life.
Zebidee 9
"love with the mistake" - funniest typo I've seen in ages!
saraheve1188 5
34 is right. save it for the right person (:
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
It's sex not you grandmothers perl necklace jezz. Btw tip counts... Love shlove
crazycornn 0
I don't see why you'd break up with him because of it. couldn't you just agree not to have sex and carry on with your relationship? :P
pattheaninal 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
OP you are stupid. why do all girls do this? but at school they are all slutty?!? wtf..
newjerseyguy 0
your a dumbass, this is probably the dumbest break up excuse i have ever heard. admit it you didnt like him anyway and thats honestly why you ended it.
wolfshadow 4
Just some technical mumbo jumbo here but humans ARE capable of intimately loving more than one person in their life. It's just human nature.
jesscarrr 10
lol let me get this straight YOU broke up with HIM not the other way around?! ahah you are an idiot.
SpicyDuck 22
Believe it or not but some people are assholes and won't stay in a relationship if there is no sex. Even young kids. Maybe he wanted it, she didn't they got in a fight and that's why they broke up.
mystical_child 6
Well if he was trying to force it on her... Good on her for breaking up with him. :)
j_729 18
Idk why everyone thumbed 104 down....its so true. They all wear slutty clothes and think its hot
Fall3nAngel 23
Great mum you've got there.
cancer27 2
totally agree
meowmeowwkitty 0
ditto, great support
catatonicsleep 17
It's up to you, doesn't matter what anyone else says
Stupidpeopleanno 5
I wouldn't have broken up with your boyfriend just because he wanted to have sex. If he repeatedly pressured you, then you end it. Your mom obviously isn't a fan of abstinence if she's encouraging you to have sex. Just my 2©ents.
ryanst 7
Your 2Copyrightents?
wolfshadow 4
Yeah, guys want sex. That's all there is to it. Unless he was repeatedly pressuring you you shouldn't have ended it.
motero 0
great advice
MrBoredGuy 1
Im sure that telling your mom about a guy wanting to **** you is never a good idea
krazy_glu3 0
Especially when she agrees with the guy
sunz 1
I dont get how u guys just talk about having sex with random ppl with your parents.
darkoneko_fml 4
I think her age would be important, here. I mean, if she is 13, her mother's reaction is kinda shocking. But if OP is something like 17-18, or more, I don't see anything wrong with her reaction. Also, #1, I can see why someone would break up for that. If she wasn't ready and her boyfriend kept on insisting, it means that he wasn't really listening to her opinion. If you're in love, you can wait. But, anyway, we have no context, so we can't tell much.
KingDingALing 9
She's right. Go suck him off and give it up to him. I bet we're going to hear a bunch of 10 or 11 year old's brag about how they already lost their virginity. We all know they didn't.
darkoneko_fml 4
I don't understand how a 11 years old could brag about not being a virgin... It is only shocking to me. And very creepy to picture.
KingDingALing 9
Believe me, it happens. Especially when the FML talks about not being able to lose their virginity.
darkoneko_fml 4
People are crazy. IMO.
InBetweenDreams 0
It doesn't work like that. You shouldn't have to force yourself to become ready, it should just happen when the time is right.
DjeePee 25
The comment of mine that is flying somewhere else used to stand here. Strange
KingDingALing 9
There's always going to be people like that. I'll write the list of crazy people on FML. 1. KaySL 2. DocBastard 3. Me 4. McMan 5. UpsideDownKayak 6. Every1luvsboners 7. Perdix (List is in random order....well, sort of...) Hmm...I feel as if I am forgetting someone...
Doortje 30
Why are all the people on your list male? It's not fair!
DjeePee 25
Oh. Yeah, a specific date would be fine. If OP still is 8 years old. Mature people don't fixate themselves on dates, they just wait till the proper moment arrives. Till then, they could have nice chats with eachother about their expectations, feelings, blablabla. Another thing: OP does not need to force herself to become physically and emotionally ready. That's something that should come naturally. Without pressure.
KingDingALing 9
Hey...I said I had a feeling that I was missing someone. I wasn't finished writing my list yet! Let me continue...ahem... 8. Doortje 9. Snickerdoodles That's all I can think of.
I_R_Genius 3
Hmm, I think there is something wrong with this comment? I can't think of it right now, but let me get back to you.
FYLDeep 26
I feel like I belong in that list, but I flip-flop around. Sometimes I'm crazy, sometimes I'm completely rational, and sometimes I'm something else entirely.
SeedlessMe 13
Awww I was Just thinking of Snickerdoodles yesterday! Whatever happened to that girl? I'm guessing she got sick of the game huh? She always made me laugh! =]
Cinn_fml 23
Snicks, get sick of her position of Lead Grammar Nazi? Never! :P Though theoretically she's coming back when she's 18, or something like that. Though I suppose by then she might've decided it's not worth the return and it's better to just remain an FML legend...
FYLDeep 26
Then I might need to travel to Oregon and tell her to get back on here personally. Otherwise I might send KaySL on her.
perdix 31
Mary did. So do nuns and some librarians and crazy cat ladies and dyed-in-the-wool lesbians. It would be interesting to know the OP's age. If she's 14, the mom is a sicko, but if she's 35, mom is seeing her prospects of becoming a grandma vaporize before her eyes.
kaoriblossom 8
Total win
marcranger 29
dyed-in-the-wool lesbians are totally having better sex than you. so are the librarians. even the crazy cat ladies get more action than forty-year old guys who still live in their moms' basements (real dolls don't count).
perdix 31
Real Dolls count, that's why they are called "real!" Duh! If you invest the extra $200 for the electrically-heated pussy, it's identical to real sex (or what I have read about real sex.) I'm not saying that lesbians don't get action, but if they are strictly gay, then they technically never lose their virginity.
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Perdix, how about lesbians with strap-ons?
perdix 31
DoubleEdgedBlade, Only if they are the Real Doll brand strap-on with the electrically-heated option and the warm mayonnaise injection system.
Djosef_fml 0
To be fair, Mary didn't stay a virgin. Even if you belive in the magical/articifial angel insemination, I'm pretty sure that upon giving birth her hymen got pwned when a male we know as Jesus went throught there.
blinkingstarlet 15
perdix: you're a typical male and have no idea about lesbian sex... except what you watch on youporn while you're having "relations" with RealTrixie with her heated plastic ******... don't make assumptions about lesbians because you have no idea what you're talking about
flipstar530 0
u shouldn't have broken up with him just for that. u shouldve made a promise for a specific date to lose ur virginity so u could get physically and mentally prepared
sugarcoated 1
That's just going to lead to her worrying about it and possibly dreading it.
binkybaby 3
Yeah that's weird. Let's not do that.
moonlight_daze 8
That is exactly what they did in the movie 40 Year Old Virgin.