Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML
Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML
Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize I'd lost my receipt. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML
Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML
Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML
Today, I bought a box of tampons and went to the store restroom to insert one. I then put the box inside my purse. On my way out, I got stopped by security, who yelled at me to empty my purse. He grabbed my bag, spilling the tampons everywhere. Apparently, he thought I was stealing. FML
Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
Today, I was out shopping for bras. While in one store, I couldn't seem to find any in my size. When I asked an employee for help, they took one look at my chest and said, "Maybe you should try our girls' section, we have a lot of training bras." I'm 25. FML
Today, after getting home from shopping, I noticed a security tag was still on one of the shirts I bought. I decided to take it back and ask them to remove the tag. They then accused me of trying to steal (even after I showed them the receipt) and kicked me out of the store. FML
Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML
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Top comments
watermelon1 35
YDI
tab13 0
come on take it from a guy big boobs don't matter I'll go out with a sweet flat-chested girl before a big tit bitch.
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Comments (147)
watermelon1 35
YDI
averagepurson 2
dumbass. guys hate big boobs.
OhHolaAlli 0
I agree with #1. plus you should love yourself for who you are. your bf should too.
Thawn 0
get a little self confidence :)
phantom956 2
hahahahahaha roses are red violets are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?
AlwaysSmile116 0
should just accept the way you are haha but you to admit, thats pretty funny.
mattman1994 0
that is... that is just sad
Football_5tar_JR 0
Your boyfriend must be proud that you want to make your boobs like bigger in public.
tab13 0
come on take it from a guy big boobs don't matter I'll go out with a sweet flat-chested girl before a big tit bitch.
bubbarific 0
ur boyfriend must b a pirate... becoz pirates love sunken chests lmao
missvee98324 0
LmFao 41 that was gooood
AbnormalAshley 0
AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA that's great
robertdr 0
41 that was flippin awesome
slushpup9696 12
41 did not come up with that
StopTheFuckinCar_fml 0
Tig ol' Bitties!
PinkCuppyCakes 0
41-roflcakes ahahah nice one :)
furburger 0
She's a carpenter's dream. Flat as a board, never been nailed, never been screwed...
dinosauring 0
first:*****. second: the suecurity guards aren't allowed to accuse you of shoplifting unless they saw you do it.
MarkSeattle 0
lol. they probably drug out the explanation because it was too funny.
cbr600_fml 0
so ur a member of the little titty committy
pnutbutterandkel_fml 0
Wow that's just sad lol
SupxD 0
haha @77 it's thhe itty bitty rutty comitty...! watch the movie again
MissArtsie 0
You deserve it for trying to impress your boyfriend with your chest. If he's a good boyfriend, he won't care what your chest looks like. Jesus.
Unikorni 3
"Guys hate big boobs"? Haha, that's amusing. It's kinda funny you can say that for every single guy on this planet. That's like saying "People hate rock music.", because even if someone do, there are still shitload of people who definitely don't. I do get quite a bit of free drinks in bars considering that guys hate big boobs. Must be pity or something..
samanthamaay 0
#3 no they don't... not all guys anyways
illmatic2 16
#3 speak for yourself.
956TXking 0
so how did security notice that before your BF did?
RyanG_21 0
yeah like 103 said your bf probably knew the whole time but didn't say anything. & why was security looking at your chest anyway? lol
RyanG_21 0
2 bras? Hey everyone! op is a big fat phony!
Trupe 3
22 & 107. Funny you are.
RokstaRx88 0
ydi the female form is beautiful as is if you are self consious with smaller breast you'll still be the same with bigger. beyond a handful or mouthfull is just unnecessary IMO b or c cups all you need
onnielief 4
YDI, when the bra's come off he'll see anyway, so why bother?
tweetbaby14 18
you know only ibtc( itty bitty titty comitty) ****** and Nicki minaj followers do that right?
KiddNYC1O 22
those guards do nothing but stand there and engage in conversation
IchbinSyn 0
Get implants easy fix
CrazyCatCookin 0
you need to dress up to got to target with your bf. and "dressing up" to you means wearing multiple bras? learn how to stuff it like a real fake girl, or, now here's a crazy idea, be yourself and be confident and you'll find there someone out there who'll like you for who you are. if not, I seriously doubt your boob size should be pop priority. A math lesson for you: ++= / --=
CrazyCatCookin 0
Singlet top? Wazzatt?
exquisite 0
sue.. they can't accuse if they don't see you take it
GarryG 0
dude, self confidence isn't just somthing you gain over night... it's harder for some ppl than it is for others because of things they have gone through, or because ppl have said shit to them. I would know :)
CrazyCatCookin 0
^ Bs there are stores that sell self confidence and the "man up and don't be a pussy" or "suck it up bitch" applies here if they think that they're fat then go change that. if they have a medical disease or something that they can't change then unfortunately they kinda need to accept it and move on. op could overcompensate by giving more Bjs.
jspag93 0
YDI for shopping at target
smiles4life 1
STUFFER!! xD
azhein 0
they have security guards at targets?
Thawn 0
142 - I've been through more shit then you can imagine so don't get all high and mighty on me. even after everything I still have self confidence because I learnt a long time ago that people who put you down are just trying to take the focus off their own pathetic self. if you're just another person leeching off the 'pity me' bullshit then grow up. life is only as hard as you let it be!
demonolish 0
I so agree man
xvolleyballerx 0
um actually 2 bras make u look smaller.. they suction u in
JDFromSac 0
your bf took you on a date to target??? that's a fml by it self right there
GarryG 0
woah dude, chill, I was just saying...
Chickenfoot117 6
Did they make you take them off?
ladiesman14 0
Target has the most retarded uniformed and undercover security guards. i had an undercover 300 pound black target guard profile me. you know what blew his cover ? a Hula Hoop that he was carrying. how many black 300 pound guys hula hoop ?
tweetbaby14 18
that is racist and just not cool towards fat people
tomtm7 0
hahahahhaha thats sounds like an awkward conversation
YevKassem 0
fancy date at Target?
ooitastic 0
I like how he noticed that...
Jthawtshawt 0
ur a cutie :)
katdaiken 16
Haha I love how your the first to point it out
imissmyself 0
Poor You
yuhhkno 0
LMFAOO loser so did yr bf dump you?!
im2cool2fml 0
there is something called tissues you can stuff in your bra
hackymeal 0
haha that would be embarreaing
hackymeal 0
embarresing*
brasilbabe 0
that's still wrong.
kgraham21 0
Embarrassing*
rockinguitar 4
haha love the picture lol
silentReaper 4
oh wow
CoolAsian 0
flatty!
The_Fonz_fml 0
Asian-y lol jk but dude bit **** or not there personality isn't in there chest and personalty is what counts.
shyguy623 0
omg did you have to take it off?? no? rent-a-cops need action to yanno.....
silver86_fml 2
she said she wanted them to look bigger, she never said she did it for her bf
crowbar87 0
teach you to try to be some1 you are not.. like he wouldn't find out
12luck34 0
Haha YDI for trying to be like someone else.
danipoo4u 0
Is I was gonna try to make my boobs appear larger I think I could come up with a better idea than 2 bras.. :/
lameuser 23
*If
jessxoxo28 5
girl, you gotta keep it real. stop trying to impress your bf
Cubanloverllera 12
exactly I've been wearing jocky bras for a year now and my breasts have never felt better
justsayfuck 5
Never try to push your luck :)