Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML
Support system
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says, "Oh, honey. I don't care… Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML
Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML
Today, my boyfriend called me in tears because the love of his life has decided to move on with another man. He is currently on his way over to cry on my shoulder about it. FML
Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML
Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML
Hierarchy of problems
Today, I was telling my dad how my boyfriend dumped me yesterday. He responded by blowing his nose into his hand, wiping it in my hair, then saying "There, a REAL problem to whine about." FML
Feelings
Today, my parents told me, after 30 years of marriage, that they are getting a divorce. I went to my boyfriend's apartment because I needed some comfort. While sobbing to him, he decided to dump me on the spot because my reaction to the news was "immature" and he wants an "adult" relationship. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML
Top comments
ThatLooksSticky 16
Wise words.
epyk_pryncess 8
You know, your dad is right. And every guy will be "another bastard" until the right guy proves him wrong.
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Comments (244)
ThatLooksSticky 16
Wise words.
Valentina_Baby 7
Well it's true, he wasn't good for you, move on
mstarxo23 2
Wish all dads give advice like that..
tettles 0
I don't see the problem here
UMad_Bro 3
As they say, you are one step closer to happily ever after.
nalia18 8
All hes saying is that he knew this was gonna happen. Then again it also means u have poor choice in guys. Sorry op
SCREAM4meeee 0
Your father... He is so wise in the ways of the world.
Skittlepickle 13
Her dad needs to write a book ASAP. I would so buy.
TheOptimist 0
About as wise as the dad who said almost the same thing not even 2 weeks ago.
theaws0m3guy 4
1- You're baked. Anyone? No? I see...
Haganbottom234 8
And?
LiveLaughFML 10
why are you crying to daddy? mother knows best! duhh :P
fr33m3xican 0
the best words a father can give lol
tweetbaby14 18
Seriously.... That's actually pretty sound advice. If you're not happy with that answer I'll trade you my father*. *disclaimer: my father is a prick that wants nothing to do with his children.
iamaleccarlson 0
No
rawrr61 4
Very wise words
chell1894 13
Yeah, he's actually kinda right. And in his eyes any boy dating his little girl is a bastard.
EvilPotato 15
What's your problem, makes sense to me.
murlocholmes 5
56- on Amazon.com: People who bought this also bought: a 1969 Camaro, a six-pack of kegs, a 54-inch LCD TV, and more awesome things...
manlove38 23
I must say that is the best advice I have head. Cry and get on with life there is more fish in the sea! Or in this case basters!!
reddawn85 8
You're dad is a champion at life
reddawn85 8
Yeah, I know it's your not you're. My bad
ohxdamnxkay02 12
that's exactly something my dad would say.
guckylynn 19
128 I love basters! They're super useful for cooking!
drawmesunshine 17
My thoughts exactly. If he'll up and leave you like that for some other tart, you deserve better.
FarSide 23
Daddy cut straight to the chase!
Daralea 21
And daddy means it with all his heart.
nalia18 8
Well now i feel bad for my comment...
raquelisonfire 5
Sorry darling, how sad.
CryMoreFMLs 15
OP does live in Cali.... It's understandable that there are alot of bastards over there.
Mooish 18
Stereotype of California though. Plenty of bastards all over.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Touché.
shutupemalee 0
lol bastard magnet
beckybecks20 8
I have the weirdest boner right now.
thegreatbigwhite 2
Female penile joke fail.
zakkyzebra 11
Men. Gotta love 'em.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Not all men are like that, sexist freak....
Shrike 24
yeah it was... same thing as saying "that's women for ya" on an FML involving bad driving. but hey, misogyny's so much more offensive than misandry, right?
MichellinMan 20
33- see what happens when you try to act smart?
zakkyzebra 11
Are you people ******* stupid? Did you even bother to look at my gender? Apparently you people are so ******* ignorant as to that to even realize my comment wasn't even sexist.
Shrike 24
#126: look it up in a dictionary. it means hatred of men, not exclusively female hatred of men. it comes from the same root words as "misogyny". I agree with your points in the other comment, BTW. #129: you can still stereotype your own sex, and I for one don't appreciate it, especially from a 16 year old kid. so hop off and stop demeaning us real men, yeah?
zakkyzebra 11
131, if you're really going to be a dumb twat about this and bring age into this, then I am going to go right the **** along with the stereotype you just made, you hypocritical ****. I could give less of a flying **** what the hell you think. I'm a teenager. Why should I? If you're such a "real man" as you put it, you wouldn't even bother with something this simplistic. Get off your high horse, you old ****. Stop swinging your elder cane around like you own man-kind.
M0rt 0
Being correct; gotta love it
Shrike 24
man up a bit and I wouldn't have to bring age into it. cussing everyone out rather than making actual points just proves how much of a macho idiot you are. so please go on, keep stroking your e-peen, but keep your kiddy sexism to yourself and grow up
zakkyzebra 11
That's the thing. I don't have to give a **** about anything. Why don't you take your own advice. Man up. Get a ******* life. You truly are quite pathetic.
Shrike 24
if you didn't give a ****, you wouldn't be arguing and replying back to me would you? *derp*
zakkyzebra 11
What kind of elitist **** actually uses the word *derp* in an argument? God I swear you ******* inbreds are stupid.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Tell me #141, has your dad molested you? Repeatedly?
zakkyzebra 11
That's it. I have lost all faith in humanity.
zakkyzebra 11
Quite humorous, ol' chap. Quite humorous, indeed. And since when have I become Randy savage
zakkyzebra 11
I would like to point out how you guys always bitch about my generation. Whose generation raised my generation?
zakkyzebra 11
KaySL. I am wise enough to know not to argue with you. But. I would put the blame on my parents. You don't even know the people. I'm not mad about all you elderly folks. Hell, I could even argue that I'm not even mad. But I'm not even going to try to explain to you, or anyone else, anything because, well, who would listen to some sixteen year old, eh?
THE_A_TEEN 28
dude, i'm 16, and I still think you got molested...
Iknoweverything 29
It really irks me when people play the "age" card and then fight with the person they claim is immature. When you respond to comments clearly intended to be provocative, you start appearing to be just as immature. Want to play the age card? Don't expect it to work out if you start behaving like whoever you used it on.
zakkyzebra 11
For my failings? Who's to say that I have failed, other than myself?
JustinComments 3
I read this whole argument and never laughed harder.
white16sox 19
I love when people think they make a point by cussing someone out.
zakkyzebra 11
I love how people copy 140's statement just to look cool over the Internet.
chloeeXD 0
He is a guy..
lifesuxalways12 0
Lol wow u just mad bunch of morons realize they r morons
jellybellygirl 0
Let's just all calm down and be friends ok? :D
azurewave 6
No wonder our generation is looked down upon. We have people like this walking around playing the blame game. All you have is to blame yourself. No one else controls you. All you need to do is to do something instead of sitting around all the the time. Get a job or get intelligent. I know your Going to say "I am smart" or "I have a job".
05559 1
I actually read everything you people said, and all I can say is: pe-he-he-nis.
Alexisthebestest 16
I didn't see anything wrong with what he said, so why is everyone bitching? You are all making such a big fuss about maturity, yet I have not seen any maturity be portrayed.
mozeltov 7
219- shhhhhh, this comment thread is better than the FML itself
kitsune3 20
Zakkyzebra, I'm gonna be quite plain here. SHUT UP AND START BEING MATURE OR GET THE **** OFF THE SITE. Thank you.
missjet 0
it's true all guys are mean
Sirin_fml 47
Ah, don't you just love casual sexism?
zakkyzebra 11
Yes. Yes I do.
KiddNYC1O 22
Kiss my ass, #4! I'm a kind and nice bastard.
Shrike 24
A 14 yo talking about men being dicks, excuse me as I go laugh hysterically #13: she'll probably make it her mission in life to get used by at least 10% of that
FML102938 8
Actually she's right. I'm a guy and I've never met a nice guy, myself included. Sometimes I just wish I was a homosexual girl it would be so much easier
Justforlolz 14
Huh, I thought mods only commented on extreme derped up comments. *mind blown*
THE_A_TEEN 28
#47 You just met one, me...
CryMoreFMLs 15
What about me? I'm fairly nice xcept wen u spell lyke dis. Then I tear you a new one.
spicerack1528 3
Hooray for daddy issues!
ikickgingers 15
*dick rides thread*
chimcharx3 15
And all girls are pmsing bitchy drama queens.
carmen8D 0
Some men are the best guys ever and then again some can be real jerks. I'm a girl but I'm not gonna stick up for bitches either. Some girls are nice, sensitive, etc. just like some males, but some are bitchy ****** and so every1 is different so you can't jut stereotype males with lazy video playing slobs who won't make a sandwich for them selves, but you can't stereotype females as people that can't drive and always make food, do laundry, by groceries etc.
fatraptorjesus13 9
yeah I've been responsible for hooking up every girl I've ever had feelings for with the guys they're with now, so no not every guy is a selfish ****. I'd rather die alone and a virgin than use any girl..... it's true nice guys finish last but a nice guy will always be fine with that because most nice guys are not competitive at all.
Toowoo 3
That's about the gayest thing I've heard all day
Llama_Face89 34
HEY! im nice as ****! if you disagree you can kiss my lily white ass! ^_^
MichellinMan 20
Sexist bitch.
homes7d 14
**** off bitch
Calivale 7
Your father is wise and hurtful but the truth hurts!
kickazz16 15
Hakuna Matata! :)
btnhdude 0
Hakuna.. matata? HAkuna MaTATA!
fatalkiss 0
So your dad basically said "Onto the next one"?
rayrayray23 1
Obviously....
dust1ns 1
Omg I'm so sorry that your life is this bad. I wonder what the starving kids in Africa think about your terrible situation :(
frankwolf86 0
that about sums it up!
MangoRico1 1
Got love how honest he is.... He knows most guys are bastards....
kitsune3 20
Technically, not all guys are bastards. I hate to be so literal because I know it doesn't really matter, but the true definition of "bastard" is not an asshole who treats people like shit, or w/e else people use it as. The actual meaning is "a person whom was born to parents not married at the time of conception."
chelseaaababyyy 17
good advice, bad wording.