Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Today, I was taking a shower with my girlfriend when she 'complimented' me by saying, "You’re cute, like a rat." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky when we decide to try the old 69. One thing leads to another when her clit ring went deep into my nose, and leaving me feeling like the wrong kind of bull. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
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Top comments
SoCalKay 3
Atleast Rufus isn't exactly small haha
4evaYong21 1
Your life sucks.. Mainly because your penis looks like a naked mole rat. Hahaha
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Comments (115)
fastbunny34 0
Why is your girlfriend watching kim possible at her age anyway find someone who has a brain
kei1108 13
Don't they all?
_words_of_wisdom 4
ok you wont say "having sex" but you will say "****"???
Df3278 5
It could be worse my ex called mine an inch worm
ashhxoxo 14
I probably wouldn't have admitted to having an inch worm. Brave man.
Df3278 5
Idk if its bc I'm brave or I'm just use to it
Df3278 5
It could be worse my ex called mine an inch worm
MrBrightsidexvi 6
did she sing his song? "what is that?! that freaky thing"
SimoneDymond 3
At least Rufus isnt small.......
suprmidgt 0
Children should not have sex
hewdud 0
Get rid of her...
sexybaybay 0
awe Rufus is so cute so don't be pissed off bout it;)