Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was gathering laundry around the house. I forgot my son was almost 13, and grabbed the very stiff socks from under his bed with my bare hands. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son came home after a week with his father. He was still wearing the same socks and underwear I sent him out with. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML
Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML
Today, I found all my missing underwear that I have been looking for for months, and have been replacing. They were all hidden in a pile in my 14 year-old son's bedroom, covered in crusty stuff. When confronted, his response as to why was, "Hormones…?" FML
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML
Today, a man walked through my line with a XL bottle of lotion and many boxes of tissues. As I was ringing him up, the customer broke the silence by saying, "Yeah my son won't stop using the cooking oil for his 'personal time'", finger-air-quotes and all. FML
Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
greatbigc 0
Well its normal for everyone to do.. But id imagine that just but uncomfortable!
jbfan23100 0
Hmm expect to see a lot of tissues next time you walk past a bin.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (280)
greatbigc 0
Well its normal for everyone to do.. But id imagine that just but uncomfortable!
gntfmlingnow 12
Especially uncomfortable for the kid >.>
porp1 4
Tell the kid that you have to remove the pj's from the oven when they're golden brown, because soon start to burn.
indielove 13
He needs a sham wow.
_Oblivion_ 12
He's just a beginner, don't worry.
muhaidib 2
n00b
zombicidal 11
you need the jizzle you say Vince I already have a cum rag but this crusty old gym sock Just pushes the cum around but the jizzle picks it up first wipe
Andr913 13
I voted YDI because this is beyond embarrassing for the kid and it's possible he's just having wet dreams.
Wassupwassup 0
A kids gotta do what a kids gotta do
Jonkbaby 23
better you tell him now rather when hes 35. na'mean?
zombicidal 11
I take it none of you have watched new wkuk
chlorinegreen 27
153- I knew what you were talking about lol and maybe daddy should have a talk with the son. Maybe the bird and the bees? It's embarrassing to talk to your parents about it so he's probably just doing whatever he can.
Squishypenguin 0
lol I remember that one :)
OneNightStander 6
I remember those good old days!
imepelepticsir 5
i use a sock
Autoshot 9
Good job, yell at the kid for having a wet dream. Ass.
kasumirock 13
If he's old enough to jack off all the time, he's old enough to do his own laundry.
blushy 14
he should do it in the bathroom. it's not op's fault. at least she's trying to teach him right
Dianaax33 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Lol. Are you sure he's not a bit to young?
CareFace 16
I was spanking the monkey when I was 8! Of course at that age I was still shooting blanks...
xXxIracebethxXx 14
13 years old is still too young to **********? Hell, I think it would be more of a concern if boys(maybe girls?) didn't start masturbating by the time they turn 8-10 years old.
teague95 16
I think 8 is a little young I was playing on playgrounds and skinning knees at 8
marmlr339 14
I think anytime after 12 is normal...
almost34 4
Yeah I would say 11-12 is the usual starting time.
DjeePee 25
Boaf, 'normal'... isn't it hard to speak about 'normal' if it comes to sexual activities? I think that starting to ********** between 12 and 14 years is the average, but that doesn't make the people who do it at a younger/older age not normal. You do know that toddlers also play with their genitals, don't you?
flockz 20
and my toilet was from there on always undecisive of the reason of its existance.
lolmigosh 15
Whenevr they start getting attracted to boys/girls is the time that it's normal to start.
Feklfekl2222 32
I'm not particularly attracted to boys and I wank( I'm 13).
parduezs 6
Heck I didn't even start untill 14!
gareth22 0
I started at 12 with advice from friend at camp, was the best advice I was given, stayed in the toilets all summer at that camp lol
asia3pea90 13
Guys start when their 11.....god. So no.....(dumbass)
D_JamesG 3
I started puberty when I was 9-10, it's normal haha
vampireclique 0
I'm 13 and the guys all talk about wanking to ****
enterkey299 0
This shows that girls no nothing about guys not children :P
thebottomdog 0
I knew about sex and masturbating when i was as yoing as i can remember 6 or 7 i guess didnt do it myself till i was around... Id say 14 or 15
Feklfekl2222 32
What am I thumbed down, I like to wank so what?
IBelongToJeebus 0
Because no-one gives a flying ****, 220
Feklfekl2222 32
Fair enough, I was just wondering
jonriise18 3
I love hearing about girls frigging themselves 220! Head up! Be proud!
EdgelessFire 0
Haha shooting blanks :D nice term. I kinda miss the old days where i didnt have to clean up lol
lil_ham1644 29
Lol "girls 'frigging' themselves?" Just say the word!
Sheepiebeepie 26
I started masturbating at 4
jbfan23100 0
Hmm expect to see a lot of tissues next time you walk past a bin.
williemac987 5
Oh my god! That would be so embarrassing! I don't think he even knows he's doing it. Since it's his PJs, it's probably just a wet dream.
almost34 4
Now that you mention it... How did it get IN the PJs?
Yak99 0
Because he came while he was wearing his PJs?
flockz 20
because he imagined the waist of the PJ's was a ******, literally throwing a hotdog down a hallway right there.
bn326160 13
What's the FML? Just a stage of life where most of young boys get through. :x Anyways, hope you have less work cleaning now ;)
StalinsHeir 1
Ooooo you got moderated. Tsk tsk tsk.
jnaust 8
That won't scar him at all! Why not just put a box of tissues in his room and not mention what they're for? I'm sure he'd put 2 and 2 together and use them.
yankfan89 27
The kid will be fine however when he finds out that his story was shared on FML then he might become scarred.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
^word! What if he or a sibling etc reads this? You'll know who to blame when he turns on you in the next few years. Welcome to 21st century parenting, where you share your dirty laundry with the world.
VeganVampyre 27
Literally, in this case :P
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Subtle puns are good. If I had said "ha, you see what I did there?!" I would have punched myself in the face!
Buttsexpirate 9
Your gonna open his room door next time only to be flooded in tissues OP! Avalanche!
Mooish 18
Well not really an avalanche if his room was on a angle maybe. Time to buy some avalanche safety control!!
Tyger44 1
#98Are u so retarded that you dont have an imagination!?
DrMime 10
98- did you know that your home could be ravaged by the deadly forces of clouds at any time?!?! I recommend you buy some cloud insurance from me to protect yourself!!! Also you seem a little low on the mental side, so I'll throw in my patented 'imagination cream'! It's packed full of creamy wonder and joy! It's a white paste you can play with and it can be and do whatever you want it to! Also I have the option of 'imagination paper' if you like to draw... It's basically a piece of paper.
1happymummy 14
Aww but im sure many parents have to have that talk!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
yeah, and then tell the world about it afterwards...
DontForgetMe4 0
I'd say this was probably just as awkward for him! Now, all you need to do is buy many boxes of tissues, and NEVER look at his computer history.
Tikmysta 20
I think that's a little unfair if I understand your FML correctly, it is only perfectly normal for a boy at that age to have wet dreams. It is not alone time, I am almost sure of it. You should know this too I would assume :)
Hubol 11
I wouldn't be so sure...
monkeyman3837 9
im 12 and im sorry to inform you but most boys have wet dreams around late 10 and early 11
dasin 18
and inhad them till i was 16
fmessiah 19
You did not have to do that, there are many other non embarrassing methods you could use, like above said a box of tissues and a small bottle of lube would be a very subtle way. And did you consider that maybe it isn't him having 'alone time' (he keeps his seed in a jar and fills your moisturiser bottle with it when you aren't looking), maybe he is having uncontrollable wet dreams.
thinkPlNK 0
even though at the time it may have been awkward, OP's son should appreciate his mother talked to him about it. he may understand it more and know that there's not anything wrong with masterbating.
Llama_Face89 34
How is putting a bottle of lube in the kids room subtle?
Leadamp 7
Ok. Whatever about putting a box of tissues in his room and not saying anything but why would you put lube in a kids bedroom
asia3pea90 13
..STFUp God!
winfieldALJD 6
Please no one else comment on 108 so we can keep th thumbs up at 69!