Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I shaved my penis and balls. When my girlfriend saw, she said, "You look like my little brother." He's 6 years-old. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, it was the first time my boyfriend saw me naked. He grabbed my breasts and began to sing, "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He's 22. FML
Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML
Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
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Top comments
juggalo2 22
That's why they're called your "nuts". Now let's see those cute stuffed squirrel cheeks.
RichardPencil 32
You guys need to work on your dirty talk. Telling her that her ****** looks like raw bacon wouldn't be good, either.
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
You guys need to work on your dirty talk. Telling her that her ****** looks like raw bacon wouldn't be good, either.
manb91gb 15
Are you guys twelve or something??
juggalo2 22
That's why they're called your "nuts". Now let's see those cute stuffed squirrel cheeks.
Iamthebanzai22 21
So what is so bad about that? At least she didn't say that your penis looks like an acorn.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
She sounds a little squirrel-y.