Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
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Top comments
THC_Overdose 0
haha this made me laugh
karebear9 0
ewww dude go wash that nastiness... ydi
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Comments (111)
chrstphr90 0
haha, I moderated this. good times....
Invioletlight 0
I agree with 87. I can't fathom why you think using that profile pic is a great way to represent yourself...
justin_brdfrd 0
68 ftw
kenman884 2
Hygiene is important. Shave and wash every day, especially before oral. Otherwise it can get... scarring. To say the least.
KnFML 5
i agreed, thx to my ex-gf i am scarred for life LOL
bea64_fml 0
# 80 your an idiot, that's the stupidest crap I have ever heard. dumbass
JamaicanSwag76 0
LMFAO!! damn girl !!! wash your ****** once in a while
allielaughsatyou 0
she didn't say it SMELLS! said sticky.. the two don't have necessarily go together.
HardCandy0505 0
actually she did say STINKY not STICKY
Njal 0
ahahahahahahaha!!!
Pandacharm 0
Learn to spell before you judge people; and also, mind you, some people are married and almost all married couples go down/have sex on/with eachother. Being abstinent doesn't mean you never have sex; how about you actually learn and experience real life first hand before you bitch about others? Or atleast get out of remedial English classes.
simplyyamazingg 0
lmfaooo... ur boyfriend is awesome.