Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
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Top comments
THC_Overdose 0
haha this made me laugh
karebear9 0
ewww dude go wash that nastiness... ydi
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Comments (111)
tehchowder 0
[robot voice] Please sit on my face [robot noises]
ljc17 0
LOL!!! funniest thing I've heard in a while
sparky831 0
hahaha dats badasss!
brookiebaby16 1
ha ha wash ur vj man
partyman007 0
this is not ur fml its his
BountyBass 13
stinky pants!
Pandacharm 0
mind you he said that before he even went down on her... and note "may be" it was a joke.. an Ill humored one at that. fyl to the op
GuErItA 0
omfg!! that defenetly made me lmfao!
Hecka_cool 2
the stronger the better yum yum. :o)
juzcallmeneo 0
that's nasty, ydi for for not cleaning your nasty vag. how do you expect him to go down and use his mouth when it smells like somthing died? I make sure I'm always clean but I've been with a few girls with a serious case of donkey vag
rockstatic 0
If you want him to start licking down there, it's on you to make sure it's clean.
szlafarski 0
nobody likes a smelly cookie, OP!