Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
THC_Overdose 0
haha this made me laugh
karebear9 0
ewww dude go wash that nastiness... ydi
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (111)
Destiwana 0
LULZ I R 12 GUYZ LULULULUL ABSINENZZ!!!!!!!!1!
SamPhooey 0
You're boy friend is a retard LOL , fyl:p
sj_fml 0
Well, look on the bright side, at least he didnt say "Caution, may contain nuts"
Noname7453 0
Omg so funny.
emily666 0
**** alert!!
tedharrison 0
Hahaha thats hilarious
Grauncho 27
Wow. And you let this loser near your ******?
tyrabroadway 4
That's why you always make sure you take a bath before engaging in any activity.
CyberGothic 16
Dump. Him. Yesterday.
Arcanel 18
serious question did he say that but continue to go down on you or did he just stop?! if he continued its obviously a joke but if he stopped figure out why maybe it was a bad day and it usually doesn't smell so figure it out !