Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
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Top comments
THC_Overdose 0
haha this made me laugh
karebear9 0
ewww dude go wash that nastiness... ydi
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Comments (111)
sarah58_fml 0
did you let him eat you out anyway????
wubu18 6
omg..
tonyhenz 0
reach back like a pimp....and slap the hoe
JeanMonster 0
this made me laugh so much
surobie 0
whoa ! take d hint !
bugmenotmofo 34
4 out of 6 women ive gone down on wreaked like a dead carcass lying on a road for months. its disgusting and kills the mood completely. the two that didnt smell did go out of their way to keep things nice and clean down there. and i REALLY appreciate that because i do the same for them. and yes i know a bit of odor is normal, but a rotten carcass smell? HELL NO. so, to the OP: YDI for being having a rotten clam
Pissedoff2464 0
no shit #10! btw op bathe once? you should before sex. otherwise that "smelly carcass" will smell like my grandma. not a good thing man.
blackcat906 0
I agree with Pandacharm. cooliogurl you need to back off. I'm not going to automatically judge you for being abstinent so you shouldn't judge others for being sexually active (and NORMAL). Obviously if you're abstinent you don't know the fun and pleasure of having intimate moments with someone, especially if they are a significant other. If you think that's nasty then personally I feel sorry for you. And by the way, lovers69's picture is nothing compared to other user pics I've seen. Personally I think her cleavage is tasteful, not inappropriate. so STFU.
zolltf 4
you know, I don't think this site was made for twelve year olds
chalkdust 4
Del Taco sells fish tacos. You should sell your abdomen to them as advertising space.