Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
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Top comments
THC_Overdose 0
haha this made me laugh
karebear9 0
ewww dude go wash that nastiness... ydi
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Comments (111)
DroidUser167 0
Haha I actually laughed out load at this one. So I take it you stink? That's sick. wash your azz!!! lmao
melbabyx 0
This actually made my day. But also, your boy's a dick head for saying something like that. I'm sure his shit don't smell like roses.
yukonesian 0
FTW!!
tylerd_311 0
hahaha #68 ftw! OP, take the hint and wash it
Lisimal 7
CAUTION: Rotten cheese Expiration day: Apr 16, 2010 DO NOT EAT
EatYourBrains 0
150. You laughed out LOAD. Thats dirty. OP I suggest you use personal hygine. Fishy ****** is not hot. DUH :P
simplyyamazingg 0
68= win!
musefan99 0
was he kidding I hope
kombucha_fml 8
wtf wash yourself and your bf's an idiot
lemonzone25 17
LOL!!!