Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
Today, I brought a huge chocolate bar to work, left it in the break room, and came back to find it gone. Later, I saw a coworker with chocolate all over his face and fingers. I asked him if he took it, and he said, in almost offended tone, “What? No, that’s mine.” FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was, "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I took my 6 year-old to work. A normally docile child, she chased me around with her toy - beating me with it while all my colleagues watched - not stopping despite me requesting her to. When she finally lost said toy, she threw a huge tantrum. Guess who's banned from my office. FML
Today, my toddler threw a screaming, rampaging fit, because I ate the last chocolate mousse from the fridge. Did I forget to mention said toddler is actually my 52 year old dad? FML
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Top comments
PaintTheStars 2
The kid loses in the end. With that parenting he isn't going to end out very well. fhl
Bag3l 0
Ydi for not have catching skills of a FIRST rate sports player.
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Comments (82)
Bag3l 0
Ydi for not have catching skills of a FIRST rate sports player.
ZleveL 0
lol your only the SIXth person to get that type of comment right ;)
mageoreh 0
*insert witty SEVENth comment here*
LordXavier 0
wow a few days ago it was nine ELEVEN
PYLrulz 17
but you failed on nine THIRTEEN
PYLrulz 17
crap, I failed too. I'll take my beating now, thank you very much
Arsonnist 3
Hold still...
PYLrulz 17
thank you sir, may I have another thank you sir, may I have another thank you sir, may I have another thank you sir, may I have another
uncleyuggles 0
I made love to my wife TWENTY-SIX times after reading this
matrasveer 1
And it was over after FORTYFOUR seconds every time
ZleveL 0
FIFTYFOUR times my wife spanked my nutsack. I enjoyed it everytime.
A_50cal_goes 0
this thread has like SIXTY THREE wins on it and furthermore BOOM headshot
A_50cal_goes 0
**** I fail hard... it's more difficult on a phone to be accurate with ur number guess lol
KarinaLizeth18 5
ahhhh!!! fail overload!!! There are SEVENTYTWO fails in this single thread!! D:
luckymay 0
hey atleast you got a free chocolate bar :D
Das_Judenburg 0
ccccccc combo breaker
hairdreser0nfire 0
bratty kid!
jay4who7 0
hey, free candy op :) lol
hebes331 0
yep. time for a snack break.
PaintTheStars 2
The kid loses in the end. With that parenting he isn't going to end out very well. fhl
PincheEdgarr 0
DROP DEAD #4 hardcore picture xD
Arsonnist 3
Like taking candy from a 3 year old.
mgranata2 0
honestly stop being so uptight, see the humour in it
hoghunter 1
really?! see the humor in it?! for a third party it's freaking hilarious. but there really is nothing funny about bad parenting.
skalyan 0
Beat the father and show your quality arm!!
jay4who7 0
Haha good idea!
FFML_314 12
Show his dad your "quality foot" up his "quality ass."
munny_fml 7
LOL I couldn't have said it better myself!
FFML_314 12
You can do it secretly.
uncleyuggles 0
you fail it's a her lol
FFML_314 12
The dad is a her, huh? That's pretty sweet! Pendatik, you're slow. Also, since when am I number? I'm /very/ offended!
FFML_314 12
I'll hurt you.
FFML_314 12
Jane needs to get the hose.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
For beating or spraying this time?
FFML_314 12
I love that when I call your name, you appear! I'm thinking a little bit of both. Give him a good squirt, then beat him.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
TWSS. :D
FFML_314 12
Aha, that's what /I/ say!
HeatherXCore 0
I'm being a fatty but chocolate sounds awesome right now.
Frenchtony 17
definetly :)
jem12 0
throw the chocolate back to his face