Today, my coworker and I were written up after we dropped a glass table, which shattered and left us with big cuts on our hands and arms. We weren’t written up for breaking the piece, but because a nearby customer heard us both swear in pain and reported us. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, we had an extremely rude customer who started cussing at us, and my coworker started cussing back. I jumped on the register to quickly bring down the line, and apologized to everyone for the scene. A secret shopper was in the line and claimed that I was rude. I got written up. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML
Today, at work, I dropped a heavy block of lead on my hand. On my hunt for ice, I had to tell my manager - who told her manager, who told the chief - in the end, the whole department found out and they made me fill in two long-arsed incident reports. I had to fill them in myself with my busted up hand. FML
Today, I tried to break up a fight between two of my coworkers. They decided to show their gratitude by smashing me in the face with a thick ceramic dish. FML
Today, a customer at work said his table was dirty. I asked which one he was sitting at so I could clean it for him. For some bizarre reason he got pissed and called my manager over. He ended up reporting us to corporate, and my manager got written up. He's blaming me for everything. FML
Today, some total dipshit at my workplace tripped over their own feet and split their knee open bad enough to need stitches, ruining our plant’s safety record and screwing us out of free pizza. The worst part is that the dipshit in question was me. FML
Today, I tried to put a drinking glass on the top rack at the dish sink where I work, but lost my grip. The glass then fell into my coworker's face, the bridge of her nose to be exact. X-rays confirmed that I broke her nose. FML
Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML
Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back where I work and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand, she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML
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Top comments
PhantomCrevan 8
People are too ******* sensitive about swear words. Oh no, someone said a word that doesn't target anyone! Better whine about it, because how dare someone make a delicate little religious flower hear a word! The people that lose their minds over it because it's a "bad influence" on their children are just as bad. If you can't parent, you spawn well enough that they use a word after you tell them not to, chances are that you suck as a parent in general.
TeachAllTheMath 19
Talk about throwing salt in the wound.
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Comments (17)
PhantomCrevan 8
People are too ******* sensitive about swear words. Oh no, someone said a word that doesn't target anyone! Better whine about it, because how dare someone make a delicate little religious flower hear a word! The people that lose their minds over it because it's a "bad influence" on their children are just as bad. If you can't parent, you spawn well enough that they use a word after you tell them not to, chances are that you suck as a parent in general.
RichardPencil 32
“too f-dash-dash-dash-in sensitive?” I think you’re going to get written up!
Dave_Davington 34
So I guess the deal is that as long as you don't use any naughty words, you can destroy as much stock as you want, huh? I have to say, it really doesn't sound that bad when you put it that way. If nothing else, you have a readily available outlet for all of your frustrations.
mt21mt 15
Excuse me? That noise you just made as a reaction to your pain was very offensive. I'm offended by it, because a long long time ago, it used to mean having sexual intercourse before marriage! Very offensive!
RichardPencil 32
That’s why you have to use “fudging fiddlesticks” in your everyday language, so it’s on your tongue when bad shoe polish happens and you get peeved off. Sorry about that dang crud — it really stinks!
TeachAllTheMath 19
Talk about throwing salt in the wound.
heartslb 8
The customer is always right. FYL
RichardPencil 32
Which is why my career in retail lasted two weeks. My motto, “The customer is always annoying,” doesn’t fit in the corporate retail culture.
devi_916 39
After a year in retail, I can assure you the customer is nearly always wrong.
devi_916 39
You'd think the boss would cut you a break on this one.
ohsnapword 21
A break is the only thing that didn't get cut.
Based_Arthur 20
Dang, you got snitches AND stitches
Lobby_Bee 18
"A customer complaint about you using profanity, swear to me it won't happen again" "**** you, it won't happen again" "I'm writing you up" "WHAT? FML"
onceuponatime456 16
Find another job! You are working for an asshole!