Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML
Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML
Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML
Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus when a large woman with what seemed like the flu came to sit beside me. After snorting hideously for five minutes, she picked up her scarf, blew her nose into it, and dropped it. It fell on my lap. When I stood up to leave the bus, there were streaks of snot on my new skirt. FML
Today, while watching a man in front of me on the bus remove his cap to scratch his noggin, I noticed the swarm of dandruff that was about to nail me in my face. FML
Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML
Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML
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Top comments
allard 14
It's gonna happen eventually, so here it is.... 'What a sticky situation' There, done.. I said it.
DooleyFTW 17
Why can't people ever just put chewing gum in a bin and not in disgusting places like under tables and in people's hoods? It's such a filthy habit!
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Comments (144)
m1grande 3
I used to ride buses. But then i took an arrow to the knee!
graham11 14
I used to find those jokes slightly entertaining but then I shot arrows into everyone's knees.
sjerkins 0
How do you not notice someone putting suff in your hood
pokemai 6
Happens all The time dude.. People these days.. Theyre like vicious ninjas !
Awsumuzzie 12
I guess my scarf on my head blinds the eyes in the back of my head... That's my reason.
pokemai 6
Well, I think your scarf is pretty ninja too.. :)
4realz226 0
The same way u don't realize u look stupid in ur profile pic :/
JayBear14 11
Crisco! Or peanut butter. :)
andrewsgirl2010 7
Thats a really sticky and gross situation....good luck gettin the gum out!
Okayitwasme 0
Use oil or peanut butter! Good luck OP
JinxosGirl87 0
Now you know you shouldn't wear anything that can be used as a garbage bin.
briabria17 0
Use peanut butter to get out the gum
mason012 0
Its not a school bus. It's a city bus
thinkinboutyou12 0
******* liar. What are the chances of some old man that was riding on the same bus as OP going on FML and happening to see their comment? Nice ******* try.
insanez58 11
freeze the gum then scrape it off or take a hot shower