Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML
Today, my one-year-old son threw up on the man sitting next to us on a plane. I felt bad and apologized profusely. When I tried to give him money for dry cleaning, he slapped me. FML
Today, I swapped seats with someone on a ferry so she could sit next to her friend. Minutes later, a child sitting behind me threw up on my head, while the girl I had swapped with and her friend laughed hysterically as I attempted to wipe the puke from my hair. FML
Sharing is caring
Today, I was sitting on the bus when a large woman with what seemed like the flu came to sit beside me. After snorting hideously for five minutes, she picked up her scarf, blew her nose into it, and dropped it. It fell on my lap. When I stood up to leave the bus, there were streaks of snot on my new skirt. FML
Today, I was on a standing on a crowded bus going home after school. A wriggling 5 year old boy and his mum left the seat to get off the bus. Since no one looked keen to sit on the seat, I did, only to find out that it was covered in pee. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML
Sorry guys
Today, I was taking the bus back to my university campus, having left work early feeling sick. While on the bus I started retching. I managed to hold it in for a while, but as I stood up to get off the bus, I started puking through my mouth and nose. This was in front of twenty other passengers. FML
Today, while on a bus, an elderly lady sat next to me sneezed so hard, snot literally went flying. I even offered her a napkin, that she refused. After a brief panic and realizing she had nothing to clean her mess with, she "inconspicuously" wiped her snotty hand on my pants. FML
Top comments
linopz224 0
man I hate parents like that
intheboot 0
Some kids need to be beaten. Parents too.
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Comments (142)
linopz224 0
man I hate parents like that
Diablo232 0
ditto
optimusprime0069 8
would you like a napkin
MrBond007_fml 6
I second the parent thing, but I don't think that was the case here, you guys, including op are not getting it, the kid was helping op, now op can play the sympathy card... unless of corse his interview was at a legit employer...
AsianCookie247 14
how rude!
lacrossekid 0
I would have scalped that kid !!
EmperorPsycho 0
it always seems to be an extremely thin napkin in these cases... Buses need bounty paper towels
TomPusslicker 21
City buses need kennels, is all. Like on the coach buses with cargo space underneath...anyone under 12 goes in a cage. Itd be soundproof to the inside of the bus, so we dont hear them at all. This can be applied to airplanes as well... or if they kick your seat repeatedly, theres a button you hit that makes the back half of your seat slam back and bitch slap the kid. lets everyone mail a letter to the airlines about it.
dynky 3
^YES. Please let's introduce cargo class for kids. One of these days I'm going to snap and beat one of the little monsters.
c12azy13ananas 0
hell yeah tompusslicker! I agree with you 100%.
sting1234 0
ditto
5t3ff1k4h 47
26 - How was the kid helping OP? The kid wiped his OWN mouth with OP's sleeve. That's not helping... that's making the situation worse. Edit: I see what you're saying. Helped him in terms of the interview. But, that doesn't always work.
DjeePee 25
I really doubt it would ever work... "Good morning, interviewer." "Why are you covered in puke?" "The kid next to me threw up on me." "You're hired." Seriously? A good first impression is everything, that child probably ruined a lot. And what a terrible mother, juk. Some people shouldn't be allowed to raise kids. Juk.
kubleeka 0
and the mom
SassiestLemon 2
Juk.
claireful 4
juk?
CoolRainbowdash 15
#68 I will love to be 11 again if that was real
RinnieRiot 9
Kids. They do the darnest things.
insanesna1l 0
haha, I would have loved to hear someone say that as op were being vomited on
mikolyshka 0
punt that kid
bloobelly 0
I would've slapped it :)
OAAS 0
I would've thrown up on his head
goodfella925 0
win!!^^^
techweed 12
thumbs up for calling the kid "it" :-)
Quasar55_fml 18
I would have wiped myself on the mother
grinch302 0
damn right I would've used the kid to beat his mother with
intheboot 0
Some kids need to be beaten. Parents too.
ddawgg5523 0
so so true
at1325 0
I agree!! thank god I'm not alone in that feeling
DjeePee 25
In my opinion, the kid does not need to be beaten. You only beat children if they do something that's very dangerous for themself or others. You don't punish a child because he/she threw up. It's the mother who needs to learn more about parenting. The first you do if your child pukes on another person, is to apologize and assure that you'll help to clean it up. You also don't let your child use another person his clothes as napkin.
randiZ25 0
94- do you have kids.. I've got 2 as you can and yes most of the time it's the parents fault, but there are those kids who need beatings..
5t3ff1k4h 47
104 - Yeah, but violence ain't gonna solve anything. Some may learn not to do something over time, but others won't. They'll keep doing whatever they want no matter how hard you hit them. Another method needs to be used.
Sinkhole 26
#113, I agree with you. I've even seen kids who start fighting back and trying to hit their parents 'cause they think that's the right way to solve things. There are many ways to make a child listen, there should never be a need to beat them.
Jammy01jams 2
Violence solves everything. want peace? kill everyone else who argue with you. you now have peace. putting themselves into danger is not something that should be beatable. being an ass is a beating offense. I would beat that little ***** face in if he did that. trust me he wouldn't be doing it again.
Sinkhole 26
Yeah, 'cause a perfect example of peace is murder, that makes perfect sense. You don't even know how old the kid is and you still say you would beat him, that's really smart of you.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Yes, let's scar a kid for life because some random stranger decided to beat him until he was nearly dead. Good one. Violence does NOT solve anything and will not lead to peace. If I killed you, because you annoyed the hell out of me, wouldn't your family be up in arms about it? Yeah, there's always going to be someone annoying you, but you have to deal with it. You can't kill everyone on the planet.
fatchicken98 0
I saw a kid that asked his mom for a plastic bag then he went over and tried to choke my little cuson with it when I stoped him a told his mom she said so what
HuttonT 3
Did your little cousin provoke the plastic bag attack?
icecreamdriveby 5
I think that entitles you to punch that kid.
afdude87 6
snack for later?
ollie179 21
kick it
alex1432 9
that sucks yo
MichaelGood 0
just like having to grow up as an ugly ass kid like u.
ohSNAPyall 27
Goodies I felt kinda bad for you on the tatas / roids / whey post, but now you're just being a tool.
MichaelGood 0
this is true I apologize :) but I am against smoking n thts what makes him ugly.
LifeSucksbtw 0
goodies calm down you obviously know nothing I can tell just from what you said
LifeSucksbtw 0
also you don't know anything about his life or anything about anyone else on this site so stop Being so judgmental. I used to use and abuse weed alcohol and occasionally E just to excape because I felt so shity and i was really close to committing suicide. and when I say abuse I mean like getting really drunk and in the middle of the day and not remembering what happend and then waking up in some random alley way. I was told I was a terrible person and was worthless and would be nothing my whole life. I'm not any more or anything but I'm just trying to say you dont know anything so you really cant judge them and even then you probably do bad stuff to.
2010smhill2010 0
#45 nobody wants to hear (read your life ****** story)
LifeSucksbtw 0
then don't ******* read it dumb ****. it wasn't for yoit was directed at goodies cause im trying to prove a point. so gtfo troll.
lolitaababy 0
don't be such an asshole, jeeeez. poor guy..
awardZu 0
Goodie, post your own FML, don't put it in the comments. It doesn't hurt you if somebody else does stupid shit, just them. Get over it and yourself.
MichaelGood 0
smoking makes people ugly it's my opinion. and I didn't do a FML thts some other guy. I don't care how much u drink everyone does so don't look for pity. weed is hardly a drug ( I'm strongly against) but in all honesty it's just a fad. so don't get all poor me bs here now.
5t3ff1k4h 47
95 - Everyone drinks? Oh, really? Kids drink? I don't drink. I know many other people who don't drink. While weed is not a hard drug, it's dangerous because people don't see the risks (impaired driving etc) involved. If they treated it like alcohol should be treated (i.e. don't drive while using) it'd be much safer.
briidontgive_ 0
You shoulda threw upp all over the mom and wiped ur mouth with kids sleeve