Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML
Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML
Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML
Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus when a large woman with what seemed like the flu came to sit beside me. After snorting hideously for five minutes, she picked up her scarf, blew her nose into it, and dropped it. It fell on my lap. When I stood up to leave the bus, there were streaks of snot on my new skirt. FML
Today, while watching a man in front of me on the bus remove his cap to scratch his noggin, I noticed the swarm of dandruff that was about to nail me in my face. FML
Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML
Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML
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Top comments
allard 14
It's gonna happen eventually, so here it is.... 'What a sticky situation' There, done.. I said it.
DooleyFTW 17
Why can't people ever just put chewing gum in a bin and not in disgusting places like under tables and in people's hoods? It's such a filthy habit!
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Comments (144)
allard 14
It's gonna happen eventually, so here it is.... 'What a sticky situation' There, done.. I said it.
IceeCreamm 7
Bold patches are in nowadays
AlexanderSilver 0
8- I like mine in italics.
YourEvilHero 12
I was gonna comment on this but I want to say that my cat just came up to my face while I was laying in bed and drooled on my lip. fml.
DaniPandi 22
Anybody know what YourEvilHero said?
tennisrapper1 14
Sigh* people these days... XD
Damn_Hippster 11
Well i think YourEvilHero said I'm a massive wiener and I hope my comment gets moderated.
ScaughtieHolden 11
You got off on a public bus?! Sick bastard!
mdtdnb 7
Someone had to say this too... Oh I see what you did there! :D
FarSide 23
I wonder what the old fart blew into the Kleenex...
ShazzRandom 7
Surprised His dentures weren't in with the gum.. I would've been laughing at him Then :)
ShazzRandom 7
Thale laughing is at the old man. He then wouldn't be able to chew gum..
amoscore 5
Why do you have to assume all old people use dentures?
graham11 14
2- you are an evil creature.
Wangan_Warrior 9
A day in the life of Oscar the Grouch...
cocodecoeur 12
Sooo, planning for a new haircut?
graham11 14
Are you actually a "mister"? Because that's what your profile says...
graham11 14
Are you actually a "mister"? Because that's what your profile says...
sammy92 0
Op doesn't need to cut out the gum. Use peanut butter!
graham11 14
Stupid stupid double double post post
mea_iloveskiing 26
Why was he on the school bus?
mea_iloveskiing 26
Oh sorry, public bus to school*
Enslaved 38
I thought the same thing until I read your comment.(: The mind see, what the mind see. I first processed it as "public school bus". Lol
mea_iloveskiing 26
Now it says only public bus :)
4realz226 0
In the city alot of times they don't have school buses, they walk or take a public bus.
4realz226 0
Op doesn't say anything about school anyways!
truthurt47 0
_________________ | [=] [=] [=] [ - ] [+] | """ """ '""" l__l { """O"O""""""'——""O""|.
iliketurdles 7
Old people are allowed on the public school bus? Wtf?
truthurt47 0
OP didn't say school bus. Public bus on the way to school
Wangan_Warrior 9
'Public bus to school' and 'public school bus are two different things. Js
wordbigbird 0
No doubt you like turtles, your brain obviously operates as slow as one
iliketurdles 7
Oh. Pardon me, it's still a little early for a Sunday morning.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
I hear ya 28
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
26*
rainbo955 0
12 - no where is school mentioned in the FML. You know people use a public bus to get around town, the the store, to work, etc.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
75- thxs for stating the obvious and I think 12 said the FML didn't say school bus lets pay attention next time?
KiddNYC1O 22
Zombie kid strikes again! Haha
graham11 14
7- you are lucky the other commenters already pointed out the obvious to you. If I had commented first, I would've included a smart ass explanation that the old man was not on a school bus. Consider yourself lucky!!
allard 14
100 - Because we all care about your opinion on 7's honest mistake.
DooleyFTW 17
Why can't people ever just put chewing gum in a bin and not in disgusting places like under tables and in people's hoods? It's such a filthy habit!
DjeePee 25
Hey, I swallow my chewing gum. It has been said that it isn't a good habit either, but I'm still alive!
wordbigbird 0
It stays in your system for YEARS you should listen to whoever told you that, wouldn't want to blow a bubble next time you drop the kids off at the pool
BlanketHogger 0
No, actually it goes right through you. It would take years to digest. Bam you learned something
DooleyFTW 17
Yeah I heard the staying in your system thing is a myth but it can lead to severe constipation in some cases!
Blueglasscup 18
Ugh that's disgusting... I can see why Singapore's decided to ban gum.
Enslaved 38
Holy Hell. I had to google to see just what you were talking about. You learn something new everyday! My friend visited Cuba and a little boy offered up his sister in exchange for the used piece of gum in his mouth. So sad. I thought that was the same reason for Singapore's band.
wordbigbird 0
22- yea I checked that out too that is ******. To help with your learning everyday, skydiving without a parachute in Canada is ILLEGAL, same with feeding beer to a mouse ( stereotype much?)
Enslaved 38
How will they press charges if you're dead after skydiving? Lol
rattusrattus 19
Yeah, well... drunk mice. They know how to party: noisily and with vandalism to public property.
Arxikist 3
We have our ways.
UniquelyMine 0
It was banned here a long time ago!
cBlackout 13
I don't think I could live without gum..
Daydreemdie 0
Well it seems like your in a sticky situation ( no pun intend ) :)
CuteGinger 2
Pun completely intended.
death_dolphin24 0
Dumbass...
monkeysareyummy 0
That awkward moment when #1 has already said that.