Today, my boyfriend gave me an early wedding present. I opened the box and inside was the most adorable cat I've ever seen! It got scared, jumped out, clawed my face and pissed everywhere. My wedding is tomorrow and I look like Frankenstein's bride. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my fiance said his cat is going to be my maid of honor at our wedding. FML
Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML
Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML
Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML
Today, my soon-to-be husband showed up with an animal print suit at our engagement ceremony. FML
Today, my future husband presented me with an engagement ring he had had engraved with the pet name he calls his cat. FML
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the shit out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
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Top comments
morgan020 0
wouldn't he be your fiancé?
kristenlee 3
well if you still need a theme, i think frankenstein would have the most badass wedding EVER. obviously you need more optimism.
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Comments (123)
BeTePoK 10
So why you got scared? o_O
discoguru 0
Are you talking to the car or you mistook "it" with the OP ? =O
Anony_fml 0
slice_of_fried_g 0
he/she's talking to the car of course, vrrrrrrooom
only1440minutes 0
lmao.
Paneity 0
Eh, bit of makeup and you'll be fine.
americayay 0
Agreed. I'm sure it can be covered up and even photoshopped out of any pictures. It'll be fine. Wedding's are overrated parties anyway.
davizv 0
haha. anyway, why did she say boyfriend and not fiancé?
mylifepwnz 0
2 things. 1. Ouch. 2. You realize that you just called your boyfriend Frankenstein right?
kristenlee 3
well if you still need a theme, i think frankenstein would have the most badass wedding EVER. obviously you need more optimism.
quackquackquac 0
hehe, but elizabeth was supposedly pretty! And besides, she died on their wedding night anyways...
Twinklestar 0
I don't think a couple of scratches makes you look like frankensteins bride. It won't be that noticeable with a bit of concealer and you can just ask the photographer to photoshop the scratches out in your wedding photo's if you can even see them.
ihavenoideawho 0
also, frankenstien is the scientist in the novel, so his bride wouldn't look that bad. frankenstein's monster isn't frankenstein. the monster does not have a name. just saying
Twinklestar 0
Frankenstein's bride is the bride Frankenstein makes for this monster in the sequel.
smart16314 0
they're talking about the movies inspired by the book. not the book itself.
morgan020 0
wouldn't he be your fiancé?
littlexlion 4
lol, I thought the exact same thing! I was like, "Boyfriend...?"
lil_lucy23 0
Perhaps you could be mindful of the fact that English probably isn't her first language.
asafetybuzz 0
lil_lucy23, maybe they didn't look at where she was from. i didn't and thought the same thing until i read your comment. :)
lil_lucy23 0
Looking at where the OP is from would have been a smart thing to do before insulting their English on a public forum and looking like an ass? I'm just sayin... When are people going to realize that the internet is an global forum, and stop making the ignorant assumption that everyone out there speaks English? FYI - The majority of internet users are not English speaking.
TheMischiefMaker 0
Maybe her boyfriend got her a cat, got it all shaken up and scared, then gave it to his girlfriend expecting the face-attack...because she's marrying another man tomorrow.
asafetybuzz 0
i agree with you. that's why i wasn't going to say anything. i was like "boyfriend? what? oh well. maybe she just doesn't like the word fiancee." it isn't that big of a deal to be pointed out anyway.
WTFsGoingOn 0
While I agree with everyone that is was not a big deal and didn't need to be pointed out, I don't really follow the logic of yelling at someone for being ignorant and assuming everyone speaks english. That honestly is not ignorant considering that the post was made in english and is grammatically correct with no errors or word confusion (I say this with the realization that not everyone uses the word fiancee and even the ones who do still mix it up sometimes). From reading the post I never would have imagined that english was not the OP's first language. She has a much better grasp on the language than most people who were raised writing it to begin with.
maipinkbear 0
lil lucy you need to calm down. before you tell us to read more carefully, notice that there are no insults directed at OP or anyone else. no need to get so defensive and edgy
littlexlion 4
"Looking at where the OP is from would have been a smart thing to do before insulting their English on a public forum and looking like an ass? I'm just sayin..." Did I ever insult her? I was confused if anything. Never did I once say, "go learn English, you twit," or anything like that. Now you, my friend, look quite silly. Take it easy, will ya? :D
caancoha 0
an early^ Oh, OP. Don't you know that whenever there is a word beginning with a vowel, you use "an?" You silly goose.
WTFsGoingOn 0
Uhm, I don't know what you are looking at but I see the word "an" in the OP, which according to you and the grammatical rules of the english language is correct.
your_face 15
Sometimes posts get edited after they've already been up for a while, so you see people pointing out grammar errors that aren't there anymore.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
That cat was pissed off.
mekeskidi_fml 0
Because she stared at the cat and its eyes got really big.
GrapefruitZoe 0
DON'T PUT CATS IN BOXES.
ItsJustMe1616 26
Cats love bags and boxes #94 lol it's only messed up if you don't leave air holes or something of the sort.
DangerMike 0
You are aware of somehting called foundation?
TheMischiefMaker 0
Mike? You know about foundation?
blastvortex 4
Bah. The groom jinxed the wedding. He should've known better. Oh, well. That's nothing that a good bit of makeup shouldn't fix. You'll probably be wearing tons of it for the wedding anyway.
lexiedear 0
Just keep in mind that you're going to marry a guy who thinks putting a kitten in a box is a good idea.