Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML
Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML
Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML
Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus when a large woman with what seemed like the flu came to sit beside me. After snorting hideously for five minutes, she picked up her scarf, blew her nose into it, and dropped it. It fell on my lap. When I stood up to leave the bus, there were streaks of snot on my new skirt. FML
Today, while watching a man in front of me on the bus remove his cap to scratch his noggin, I noticed the swarm of dandruff that was about to nail me in my face. FML
Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML
Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML
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Top comments
allard 14
It's gonna happen eventually, so here it is.... 'What a sticky situation' There, done.. I said it.
DooleyFTW 17
Why can't people ever just put chewing gum in a bin and not in disgusting places like under tables and in people's hoods? It's such a filthy habit!
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Comments (144)
wordbigbird 0
As rude as that is, i would laugh if I saw that...sorry
1happymummy 14
Hairspray freezes the gum and it will slide out. Good luck
Enslaved 38
Ice does that too. Ooh and peanut butter works also.(:
MelTheGreat 23
Look on the bright side, you can save it for later.
graham11 14
used gum for later. Score!!
metallicshadow 16
what a prick
leg5523 5
Peanut butter gets gum out of hair
BeefyQueef 5
My **** gets gum out of hair
thebluewizard 14
Hey, hey, you leave that old man alone! It was his life ambition to put stuff in someone's hood on a public bus!
kimee21_fml 15
Peanut butter is really good to get rid of the gum! Try it before cutting your hair, but seriously fyl, this is discusting!!!
ikickgingers 15
Discusting? Jeezus ****... Stick to figure skating.
kimee21_fml 15
Well, I am really sorry, but English is not my first language. J'aimerais beaucoup te voir parler français et ne pas faire d'erreurs.
nabesh 5
Eeeuuuuwww!!! maybe u should get a haircut. new style for christmas :)
pokemai 6
Okay I know this is not an answer.. And I am sorry. Just dont know whereelse to ask :( How the heck do you get your fml's confirmed??? I See that a lot of you (including me) have tried to post a fml, but havent got it confirmed ! Why!!!???! Fml..
thisisafunnyname 12
the fml monkeys, who are watching your whole life, see something fml worthy and they tell it to the fml owls. the owls then bring the fml to the naked mole rat who decides if it actually is fml worthy. if so, he gives it to the rainbow unicorn who posts the fml.
pokemai 6
Thank you! Now everything is so much clearer! And I will have a word with that fml rainbow unicorn >:( !!!
geon_olam 17
Haha 48 you fell for that? Unicorns can't be rainbow they're either pink or white! Everyone knows that
4realz226 0
Duh they r'nt monkeys! They r penguins!
pokemai 6
76, damn! I always fall for that one :( I always forget because we dont have unicorns in Denmark :(
Fudgee_xOx 10
Try using vaseline to get the gum out of your hair! :)