Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied, "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML
Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML
Today, I was on a first date at a bar, when a girl walks over and ask me if I'm a doctor. I said yes, thinking she overheard me talking about my PhD. The girl then showed me a lump on her breast and asked what to do about it. My date then slapped me and left. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, a woman left our first date just because I didn't like the same character as her on a TV show. FML
Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML
Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML
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Top comments
yoursucklives 36
well you know, internet ads are kinda annoying...
lk2481 4
Guess she doesn't like advertisements....
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Comments (190)
perdix 31
Actually, you are lucky. A girl that despises what you do would for a living will consume a free meal at your expense, rebuff your sexual advances with maximum humiliation, and then not return your calls for a second date. You got off cheap and with your self-esteem intact.
krez 20
Hey OP, F**K YOU! j/k I know it's only your job.
alexup24 13
Remember when YouTube was yours?
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
So you're the asshole responsible for all the frustration that goes into my intimate encounters with myself! I'm waiting for the goods but I have to wait two minutes while I learn about this amazing product that will enlarge my nonexistent penis. She had clearly been watching the same **** videos...
tripleshame 3
Oh snap.
thats_my_job 11
...goes the strap on.
Wolvander88 19
"What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons". - Don Draper
Pelreskovich 11
I feel like you didn't deserve that.
sougstad 7
Hey, you can still go home and beat off...just saying
doctorhook86 25
Yeah. TheyTube sucks.
purplemnm 9
Those ads are saving you from paying for YouTube. So shut up.
mintcar 10
Well, fortunately for you, not all of us are psychotic.