Today, I was on a first date at a bar, when a girl walks over and ask me if I'm a doctor. I said yes, thinking she overheard me talking about my PhD. The girl then showed me a lump on her breast and asked what to do about it. My date then slapped me and left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my doctor out on a date. He had his nurse turn me down. FML
Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied, "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML
Today, while at the gym, I started flirting with a hot doctor. I thought things were going well so I suggested we work out together sometime and maybe work our way up to dinner together, to which she replied, "Sorry but I've seen tumors bigger than your biceps," and then walked out. FML
Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML
Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML
Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML
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Top comments
Mynamewontfi 40
Why would your date blame you, though? Unless you lifted up her shirt, it wasn't your fault.
cocacola999 27
At least you dodged a bullet with your first date. Slapping was incredibly illogical.
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Comments (40)
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
Opps! You really boobed there!
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
PS why can't I fav' a "nearly", I wonder...
Marcella1016 32
In response to your second post, it's not you, it's just how they have it set up. I also would like to be able to fave the nearly FMLs, though. In response to the pun on your first comment, nice try. If OP is a doc who primarily does mammograms, I'd say he's a man with a boob job.
Red_Ralph 16
Was it the breast thing that could've happened?
_Adog2645 24
No, it wasn't
bickdig69 8
Why did this get so many dislikes it made me laugh my ass off
False_Stupidity 42
If OP is a surgeon, maybe he can help reattach your ass #38
cocacola999 27
At least you dodged a bullet with your first date. Slapping was incredibly illogical.
tounces7 28
And even if he was/is a doctor, what moron dates a doctor thinking they never see other people's private areas?
snoopy325 23
56, it sounds like he wasn't an MD, he has a PhD which gives him the title of Doctor because he holds an academic doctorate.
FMLFreakShow 18
That really Sucks OP, I feel bad for you.
Crazyjohnb 23
That one is probably in barney's playbook.
seriously1738 8
YASS
ulissey_fml 22
Doctors will get any kind of reactions when in public , she should know that . Like it or lump it , then.
Talis99 26
It doesn't sound like he's that kind of doctor. Unfortunately, medical doctor and PhD doctor have the same title.
Mynamewontfi 40
Why would your date blame you, though? Unless you lifted up her shirt, it wasn't your fault.
poorkitten 15
still.. you got Boobs on the first date!
mmswag 3
Sounds like you dodged a jealous bullet. Congrats
SauceySarah 30
Maybe she thought you and that girl were in cahoots with one another.. I don't know what she thought you guys were scheming, but clearly she thought it was offensive.