Tonight, on First Dates…
Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied, "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML
Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied, "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML
Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML
Today, I was on a first date at a bar, when a girl walks over and ask me if I'm a doctor. I said yes, thinking she overheard me talking about my PhD. The girl then showed me a lump on her breast and asked what to do about it. My date then slapped me and left. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, a woman left our first date just because I didn't like the same character as her on a TV show. FML
Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML
Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML
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Top comments
yoursucklives 36
well you know, internet ads are kinda annoying...
lk2481 4
Guess she doesn't like advertisements....
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Comments (190)
DJP0N3 0
I would have said the same thing and I will **** YOU ASSHOLE if we killed al ppl like you there would be no ads on the interwebz
Steve95401 49
Were you on a date with Betty Draper?
kyarush 10
You sir, are the devil.
epiczo3y 2
What r adverts?
Discombobulated9 12
They're Nazi zombies that come out at night and hide your remote controls.
Skittles_Rawr 8
Are you seriously not smart enough to read the other comments?
theangelfromhell 6
Well that was random. Well i guess you just have to find someone else :) i know its not easy but do not worry, there are plenty of fish in the sea
XtraEzeee 8
The only reason I watch the Super Bowl is for the cool advertisements.Thank you OP. :)
amber551133 5
i swear ive seen this on workaholics before.
Ugi 27
She probably heard it as "I castrate Aardvarks". It's an easy mistake to make.
killerkiss92 8
Uh oh children arguing. haha jk. yes, advertisements are annoying, but if it wasn't for them, I would have never found out about the delicious cream puffs at Walmart. Mmm
DrBlack 9
Dude you are doing the work of the devil and are only a few steps removed from the level of hatred bankers deserve.