Tonight, on First Dates…
Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied, "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML
Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied, "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML
Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML
Today, I was on a first date at a bar, when a girl walks over and ask me if I'm a doctor. I said yes, thinking she overheard me talking about my PhD. The girl then showed me a lump on her breast and asked what to do about it. My date then slapped me and left. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, a woman left our first date just because I didn't like the same character as her on a TV show. FML
Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML
Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML
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Top comments
yoursucklives 36
well you know, internet ads are kinda annoying...
lk2481 4
Guess she doesn't like advertisements....
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Comments (190)
ooyt453 1
In soviet Russia advertisements make you
elinachka 7
Roses are red Violets are blue Vodka costs less Than dinner for two.......
irrevelant 10
New job: parking warden. You'll get a date in no time
elephantom12 9
Exactly what 44 said. The only reason why you're still watching videos on YouTube are because of those ads. If you don't like them there is a simple solution to that. Open Internet browser --> google --> Adblock plus --> Download. No more ads.
ayyemmcee 1
Sooooo....no second date?
sidviciousmum 3
U gotta love an aggressive woman
thew_fml 14
next time say "i'm a writer"
Darcon 8
Sew her ass!
Darcon 8
With a knife and rope of course!
DontModMeDammit 10
Look up ad blocker add ons for your browser, I got one and have not had to watch an ad since.
jeanniecm1984 17
At least you dodged that bullet. She's crazy.