Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML
Today, I started dating my crush. Turns out she's a living nightmare. FML
Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said, "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha, a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML
Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
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Top comments
EffMEffinL 0
That reminds me of the time I passed by my friend at school in the hallway, and said, "What's up?" she looked hurt and didn't respond. Later, I asked her why. She thought I said 'Shut up'. Communication Fail.
saranottelling 7
What I really want to know is why you greeted her with "Hey sweetheart" on the1st date. That's more of a 5th-10th date thing. On the 1st-5th dates you greet each other by name. The 10th date and up you start making those really horrible nicknames that make your friends sick each time you use them.
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Comments (86)
valeriekirsten 0
first! wait u called her retarted or she called u retard?
Jen_J_the_J 0
hahaha ur date cant here :L first
hallucinog3n 0
"first" fail x2 (you were #4, plus no one cares) on a more relevant note, when i first hung out with the girl i am now dating, i proclaimed "OH MY GOD ARE YOU ******* STUPID?" in reference to something i saw outside. it took me a while to convince her that i was not, in fact, responding to her previous statement... you'll be fine if you explain how ridiculous it would have been for you to say that
Jen_J_the_J 0
darn ipod wont allow me 2 comment more than once in like an hour :@ she thought he said retard, so really nobody said retard..
morella_xx 29
Yes, thank you for explaining a situation that needed no explanation. I wish your iPod would stop you from commenting at all.
randomaccountnam 0
YDI for being a retard.
allmidnighteyes 11
She was a ra-tard
Mustardnight 3
Sry i don't get it :/
xilinnz 0
from Hangover dood!! go watch it now
EffMEffinL 0
That reminds me of the time I passed by my friend at school in the hallway, and said, "What's up?" she looked hurt and didn't respond. Later, I asked her why. She thought I said 'Shut up'. Communication Fail.
Lydaor39 0
funny...
SighOfTheWorld 7
She must be one then. Even if she misheard, the context doesn't make any sense for you to have said that. There's no reason to be convinced otherwise. It was an unfortunate and disappointing moment, but be grateful you found out how she reacts to things now. This was a red flag. Hope your next crush is smarter and less paranoid.
aznkillah516 0
saranottelling 7
What I really want to know is why you greeted her with "Hey sweetheart" on the1st date. That's more of a 5th-10th date thing. On the 1st-5th dates you greet each other by name. The 10th date and up you start making those really horrible nicknames that make your friends sick each time you use them.
allmidnighteyes 11
Aw, damn. I've been going about it all wrong then, with the whole "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?" line. Should it wait until after the first date?
dudeitsdanny 10
I agree. I came in to say he deserved it for being so forward so soon. Use the rag on the first date. If she doesnt remembrler it, repeat in the consecutive dates =P
carepolice 0
He wasn't using it as a pet name for a girlfriend like "my sweetie" he was using in a greeting sense. I know plenty of people who will call a girl sweetheart without meaning it romantically.
gingersnapper 0
Only if she doesn't agree to come in for coffee.
patriotblue 0
I agree
CaroAurelia 12
Well, I don't know if guys so much do this (I'm a girl), but sometimes I call people stuff like "sweetie" or "dollbaby" even if we're not dating or I'm not even romantically interested in them. It's just what I say. So maybe he's one of those.
corgidoggo 2
he's risky
HannahBabe 0
hahahaha bummer