Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
Today, I had to clean up human poop that someone trailed through the store. Then, as I was cleaning up all the shelves at the end of the day, I saw that someone had changed their sanitary pad, took a new one out of the packed and used it, then left the used one on the shelf. FML
Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML
Today, at work in a library, I found a dirty diaper stuffed under one of the public use computer desks. Not only was it leaking, but it had been run over several times by a rolling office chair. I had to clean it up. FML
Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML
Today, while working at a fast food restaurant, I stayed a little overtime to help my manager with dishes. A kid pooped in the slide in the playground area attached to the restaurant itself. I'm the smallest one there. I had to crawl UP the slide to find and clean the poop. FML
Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML
Today, I went into the tanning room at work, where the lady in there last had decided the trash can was a toilet and pooped in it. Before she sat, she took the time to wrap the edges in paper towels, I guess in case anyone else had done this before her. I had to clean it up. FML
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Top comments
FMLpuppy 3
And this is a daycare for children?
trellz17 19
A used condom wrapper? What the hell are those kids doing!
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Comments (210)
ICastillo 25
Dang I guess kids do the darnedest things too.
ICastillo 25
Shit I didn't see #10 comment now I just look like an ass.
tnlander 20
50 Shades of Preschool- tire irons, old yogurt, and condoms. They grow up so fast.
darawbs 0
What the hell kind of daycare is this?!
enormouselephant 15
Too bad the tooth fairy didn't come to clean!
CreepInTheCorner 11
I've got this. Two people were sitting around when they found an old yogurt. They began to eat the yogurt, when they realized that it was too old. They got angry and felt the sudden urge to have sex since they thought they would be dead soon. The boy then picked up a tire iron and threw it at the girl. Her teeth then fell out, and she was never seen again.
Accuraxy 10
Umm.. no.
CuriousAlien 7
That explains everything, but did he just randomly pull out a tire iron, like who the hell carries that around with them.
SenselessPattern 12
Don't you dare leave the 'rotting log of shit' out of your story. Can't have a story without shit.
doodlecloud 27
You could probably make a legitimately funny comment by doing an 'explanation story'. This was not it though.
FaygoAndMiracles 18
Everyone is wondering about the condom wrapper, and, while I am too, isn't anyone else wondering about the tire iron? Why is it even there?
luminos77 3
That's what I thought! I don't think OP knows what a tire iron is.
teresee 8
Those kids were busy
williamcarter93 13
They used the tire iron to knock out the teeth, which caused the struck person to shit themselves, and the yogurt was used as lube for the people using the condom! It makes sense now!
CeltHound 14
Where the hell do you work?!?!?!?
sheethapins 13
A daycare.
teresee 8
Awh, shit.