Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
Today, I had to clean up human poop that someone trailed through the store. Then, as I was cleaning up all the shelves at the end of the day, I saw that someone had changed their sanitary pad, took a new one out of the packed and used it, then left the used one on the shelf. FML
Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML
Today, at work in a library, I found a dirty diaper stuffed under one of the public use computer desks. Not only was it leaking, but it had been run over several times by a rolling office chair. I had to clean it up. FML
Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML
Today, while working at a fast food restaurant, I stayed a little overtime to help my manager with dishes. A kid pooped in the slide in the playground area attached to the restaurant itself. I'm the smallest one there. I had to crawl UP the slide to find and clean the poop. FML
Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML
Today, I went into the tanning room at work, where the lady in there last had decided the trash can was a toilet and pooped in it. Before she sat, she took the time to wrap the edges in paper towels, I guess in case anyone else had done this before her. I had to clean it up. FML
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Top comments
FMLpuppy 3
And this is a daycare for children?
trellz17 19
A used condom wrapper? What the hell are those kids doing!
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Comments (210)
FMLpuppy 3
And this is a daycare for children?
TurtleSmile 14
It's actually for teenagers. There's this new thing where the government doesn't want them to do anything.. so daycare.
Palirose 22
Wait...a yogurt from 2003??? How in the world does that work? And the condom wrapper ?? Please explain..
Oblivious_Mom 1
19- obviously within a week some people have decided to dump their trash at the daycare
Sitaaboo 6
Right. A daycare for youngins, young kids these days. Haha a lot of random stuff lol
char08 0
seriously, I feel bad for the kids at that daycare.
SenselessPattern 12
By daycare OP could mean retirement home. It would explain everything except the tire iron. The tire iron mystery continues...
Tmanosaur 0
Lmao and I bet you that if it was thought of earlier, we would have one
brittanyrmh_ 12
77- Or the fact that some kids are little shit disturbers could be a plausible explanation, also.
Palirose 22
35- it is 2012...a yogurt cup from 2003? You're kidding right? Even if someone did dump their trash...why would they still have a yogurt cup from 03??
qwillis98 20
Wtf? How did a dam tire iron get in there? (>.>)
thedhanjal 10
Damn.... I'd find a new job if I were you.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
With a name like "Skidmark Sally," this might actually be the perfect job for her..
CrewBoy 10
If I were a parent I'd be finding a new daycare
pinkredneck30 2
Calling health services is more like it!
extreemguy19 7
That's ******* gross. How did you find a yogurt from 2003 that could have only gotten there a week ago? Not to mention the condom wrapper...
samsaf1989 5
Maybe op isn't cleaning as thoroughly as he/she think they are...?
drkate25 30
Kids probably brought it in with them from home...
SokDek 14
Well the wrapper could have been stuck on a shoe, or fallen out of a purse. I wanna know how the tire iron got there...
MURIKKA 11
It's clearly evidence of time travel.
ShyAnn29 15
42, didn't you know that new thing now is to carry a tire iron everywhere you go?
doctorhook86 25
64: I agree. The tire iron makes me the most curious.
WritingWrongs 8
Why is everyone so concerned with the condom rapper? Obviously some kid went through his parents' bedroom and wanted to show off his "find". I'm more concerned with how some kid, with adult supervision, and without the fuss of the other children managed to take a dump in the corner.
walmartpaysme 15
82, go sit in a room with 15 five year olds by yourself. A lot can get past you. Plus, OP only said they found A log. It could have fallen out of a younger kids diaper or an older kids underwear.
trellz17 19
A used condom wrapper? What the hell are those kids doing!
gc327072 31
Each other.
NomNomMuffin 5
That's why the daycare is there
Oblivious_Mom 1
Obviously daycare isn't quite what I remember it to be...
slick5880 22
They grow up so fast. Yesterday diapers, today orgy.
kaileylovesyew 4
41- haha literally speaking
jacsoccerdude3 10
Sex Ed is being taught at an extremely young age now a days.
TheSithAssassin 15
Yes and either with demonstrations or in practice. Ah the fantasies of youth.
walmartpaysme 15
The wrapper was just a Package for those new finger puppets.
kxxjoejoexxk 8
Am i the only one to thumbs up this
BunchieRules 31
125 - Obviously not.
kristirhong 12
Not a used *wrapper*. People don't use condom wrappers for sex. :P
TheOnlyX 11
I think you meant to ask what they are in fact, not doing.
trellz17 19
147 yeah I realised that after I wrote it. Oh well too late now.
waynesmedley92 2
Experimenting
Welshite 40
A condom and what was obviously a preschool brawl. They're getting younger and younger.
manda1511 5
But that doesn't explain the yogurt...
sisterjameela 7
Ok here's what happened. Some kid gave his gf some yogurt and a condom. When she saw the yogurt was expired she was very offended at that and the implications of what the condom meant so she grabbed the tire iron she kept in her diaper bag and knocked his block and three of his teeth out. He was so shocked he shit a log. The End!
FMLKitten 15
Wait a second. Shouldn't Noor be the one making up these stories?
ThisIsMe_18 13
seems legit.
Dylan94_fml 8
A condom wrapper at a daycare? Think it's about 9 or so months too late for that.
onlychildFTW 34
What size was the used condom? If it was extra small those kids are getting funky at daycare!
Mysterion345 11
I'm quite concerned about that work enviroment
TheSuperSpicer 6
Okay, I can see why you would find teeth, shit, and expired foods at a daycare.. but a condom wrapper?
MURIKKA 11
And the tire iron...
thenamestaco171 2
The kids OBVIOUSLY found some amazing things, and you just destroyed their precious finds. :O
amandajlucas2015 2
The most intelligent comment do far.. Explains y the expired food from 2003 wasn't there last week and everything else as well
Jaxx66 21
9- I completely agree with your profile picture.... But as far as your picture is concerned; we are enemies.... Also, I would more expect to find pocket knives rather than tire irons... Parents must be concerned about safety there, to send a tire iron in their kids diaper bag!
dead247 13
Son, if that little bastard jimmy tries to take your girl from you, beat him with this tire iron and rub his face in your poop. Oh! I almost forgot, here is a condom for lil sally.
FMLKitten 15
Poop is an amazing thing? Guys, I think I just found heaven in a toilet.
thenamestaco171 2
Do I really have to have to explain an FML? No, i just made a comment.
lexilikesyourhai 2
Kids do the darnedest things.
gc327072 31
n00b commenters say the most overused things....
evig_fml 16
Ya things like n00b
Schizomaniac 24
16, what classifies as a noob commenter? Isn't that relative? I started commenting in 2010, so does that make you a noob commenter? If Freeze or Sirin come around, would I then be a noob commenter? If it's anything I can classify as "noob," it's when people call other people out for no reason to try to look better themselves. Everyone makes a stupid comment every now and again. Hop off, brah.
gc327072 31
>200 comments makes someone not a noob. So we're all good (well, not Evig) It's that when people are new here, they don't know not to say the 7 deadly comments of FML: 1. Shit happens/that's a shitty situation 2. I see what you did there 3. Kids say the darnedest things 4. Wow that sucks 5. Doesn't matter had sex! 6. What a well thought out comment 7. First!!!!!! Saying these are guaranteed to bring on lots of negative thumbs/will get you buried.
Sinkhole 26
So, I could have been reading the site for a couple of years, but if I don't meet your comment quota I'm a noob? Commenters with thousands of comments still use the "that's a shitty situation". In any case, at this moment, your comment has more thumbs down than 10's comment. Maybe you should have added an 8th point to your list: a point about people who call each other noobs.
gc327072 31
Oh well!
qwillis98 20
Lol I find it funny how the one a$$hole thinks he is cool calling someone out for a GOOD comment when he is just getting thumbed down for his a$$hole-ness. Give up a$$hole, just give up.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Is your 'S' key broken?