Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML
Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
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