Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year-old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a long road trip with my son. He had to pee, and told him he had to wait till I could stop the car. He started counting backwards from 10. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, I got a ride in a friend's car. As I sat down, her younger brother started laughing hysterically from the backseat. In between giggles, he admitted he peed there a few minutes ago. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML
Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML
Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML
Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML
Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, some kid on the bus kept pissing me off, making fart jokes and singing the Peppa Pig theme song on repeat. Angrily, I confronted him and asked him if he was 7. He retaliated with, "Yeah, 7 inches deep in your MOM!" FML
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Top comments
SirBedevere 0
Well son, that's just how some men like to have a good time.
zinoxity 23
Let's hope your kid doesn't try it out.
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Comments (210)
switchgurl20 17
Lol theyre passing time in traffic and using it for their enjoyment. But i do wish that if they continue to do that, they tint their windows. They could get arrested for that.
Weetart 8
Who gives a shit if they get arrested? They know there are consequences to their actions. They should expect to get arrested, but since they are oblivious to their surroundings; we'll just let them get on with their kinky business. At the same time we don't have to pay to watch such entertainment. Ahahaha.
metalhead5564 0
How did you explain that one? :S
rattusrattus 19
He needed to have a new peepee fitted, and the other guy was a peepee mechanic?
Slim2306 10
LOL that's the most original explanation I've heard!
jren207 24
The peepee mechanic had to ensure the peepee was secured correctly by tightening his nuts.
number0 8
He was having a hard time getting his peepee to make some juice, so the peepee mechanic was firing it up.
boxter57 3
he must be confused
zyxwvutsrqponmlk_fml 0
They're masturbating, eh.
pieter82 17
Try that again. When the one is pulling the other, it is not called masturbating. Back 2 school...
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
It's still called masturbating. People just don't use that term very often when it's with another person.
StopDropNRoll 11
I'm just gonna come out and say it. The dude got a handjob!
roxysoxy 0
u learnt how to ********** at school? fun class....
macsterfun 3
The ultimate multitasking!
selbow 3
"well son, he's probably thirsty and is trying for a quick milkshake... A vanilla flavored one"
austinA7X 6
...that was stupid
selbow 3
You're stupid
Lachiew 11
Your a f**king idiot.
selbow 3
And if this traffic jam holds up, he'll add some chocolate fudge to the mix
WizardOfOzLA 2
gross !!!!
hannahtaskey 9
it wasn't funny the first time, so please stop.
FahKinSuhPah 4
It's a STICK shift Son!
SirMeows 1
haha
Foxyface 4
This happened to me once in a cinema with my nephew... front row too!
DaniBee420 6
WTF? hahaha
selbow 3
What the **** does WTF mean?
anorexicbarbie 8
WTF = With the family ex: I'm eating WTF! ;-)
madisonbrooke98 0
He walked in while we were having sex WTF!?