Today, I was on a long road trip with my son. He had to pee, and told him he had to wait till I could stop the car. He started counting backwards from 10. I couldn't stop in time. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML
Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML
Today, I drove 100 miles from my parents' house to mine. I had only a few miles left when I realized I really had to pee. I didn't want to pull over somewhere when I was so close to home, so I sped up. A cop pulled me over a block from my house. I started to sob, and ended up peeing myself. FML
Today, I was traveling home with my four-year-old son. While we were standing in line at the security checkpoint, I hear the sound of water dripping and turned to find my son urinating on the floor. He'd read a sign that said we weren't allowed to take any liquids with us. FML
Today, I had to piss really bad, so we stopped at a gas station. I guess I had to pee so bad that I didn't think to check the PUBLIC toilet. My mom went in after me and when she got back in the car, she asked me if I'd pooped, which I hadn't, then she told me that the seat was covered in it. Actual shit. FML
Today, while on a road trip, we stopped and went to the bathroom. I didn’t need to go, but my parents told me to "try anyway." I’m 24. FML
Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML
Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML
Today, I'm on a long car trip with a friend who makes fun of my pee breaks every 45 minutes. "Well, are you incontinent? You should wear diapers, otherwise we'll never reach our destination!" What she doesn't know : I have bladder issues, and even if I try not to use them, I do wear diapers. FML
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Top comments
cdiem_fml 9
How old is he?
TheAspieDork 27
When they gotta go, they gotta go.
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Comments (61)
cdiem_fml 9
How old is he?
Welshite 40
32.
Carnage23 22
he's 5 years old
Huzlers 13
He's a smart kid.
SilverInGray 25
28 - your parents seem sort of shitty to do that? If he peed on purpose yes, but why advocate to punish kids for accidents? They're kid.
zman938 8
Well that's because your parents are assholes.
farmgirl98 14
I'm with you 28. A 5 yo has enough bladder control to last beyond a 10-count; barring any physical or mental developmental delays, I'd say the turd did it spitefully. Bodily functions are one of the few things that young children have control over, and it is well-documented that they are mentally capable of manipulating adults in regards to these functions. The count down was likely him mimicking his parents and asserting his authority in this situation. If it were my kid, he'd be cleaning it up. (PHD in Infant & child development)
DoomedGemini 38
I thought you weren't supposed to punish a child for bodily functions like going to the bathroom? Though I wouldn't really say making them help clean it up is truly a punishment
dancerr45 7
Just because they're a kid doesn't mean they don't know better. I work with kids all day long and sometimes, they just do what they want to do, even if they know it's wrong. So, yes, punishing the kid in a situationally appropriate way would definitely be what I would have done.
Krankerev 10
No. It's so that they discipline them so they won't do it again.
KonekoChi 5
sorry you had a shitty childhood but that doesn't mean all kids should be punished for accidents
Sammeydw 22
#43 We don't know if the child had any developmental delays or other handicaps. So we can't say if the child knew his limits and just waited too long to ' throw a tantrum' . Or a handicap prevent the child from knowing until it was too late.
MythItalics 3
How are they assholes? My parents did the same. A 7 year old isn't a newborn, man. A 7 year old can think to clean up a mess they made. The same people who don't think that kid should've been punished for PURPOSELY peeing in the car, are the same ones who are still picking up all of their kids' toys when they're 11 years old. Get a rag and some soap and water and clean it up. Nothing more to it. It's not cruel or anything. Just teaching the kid that comfort isn't immediate and to clean up after yourselves.
orangejubejube 20
What I don't understand here is why cleaning up after yourself is used as a punishment. If we have kids pick up their toys, tidy their rooms, and wipe up their spills, what's wrong with having them clean up an accident? Yes it's pee (etc.), yes it was an accident (or not), and just like any other mess, you made it and you should (at least help) clean it up. Not a punishment, just part of what it means to clean up after yourself.
MythItalics 3
The kid counted down. No kid "accidentally" pees counting down. Name one person who knows they have exactly 10 seconds until they pee. He was trying to assert authority and purposely peed in the car.
TheAspieDork 27
When they gotta go, they gotta go.
james_logan 19
Mississippiless or not?
Dale_shackleford 13
When kids say they have have to go, they really have to go. Still in gonna say FYL because It usually isn't an option to pull over and let your kid pee.
zeffra13 31
If a kid is still young enough they only recognize they have to pee 15 seconds before they can't hold it any longer, they should still be in training underwear because they'll almost never make it to the bathroom in time.
ShannonBitt 29
#7 they probably realize before that, but don't say anything until it's an emergency. so they have to be taught to say something earlier. in another comment, the OP said he's five, which I think is old enough for them to know.
chosha_fml 27
The kid started a countdown. He wasn't just trying to hold it as long as possible. Depending on his age, it seems a bit like he was being demanding and punishing his parent for not meeting his demand immediately.
Stuffaluffagus 25
The guy said he was 5, that's more than old enough to know how to hold it. Sounds to me like he needs an ass whoopin
wanted_2_want 40
"And that's why kids we don't travel anymore.."
Tripartita 45
"But you'll have wait until you're older to learn kids why we speak with such odd syntax."
NoThanks999 19
if u saw that srry wrong comment
james_logan 19
maybe he's ted mosby with syntax dyslexia?
hoosiergirl94 31
And then you let him sit in it for 30 more minutes
Boometh 15
Whst's OP supposed to do, pull a vacuum out of hammerspace and clean it up while on the highway?
Thaxton 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wrong answer. When you have a passenger in your car and they need to pee you pull over or take the next exit if you can. Being a "hard ass" about it does nothing, except piss in your car and a upset passenger.
ShleeG 23
Where was it said that OP was being a hard ass?
james_logan 19
1) No emergency lane. 2) There is a barrier and no side of the road. 3) You're on a long bridge that would take more than 10 seconds to get off. All situations where what you are suggesting is impossible.
kbecks87 16
He counted down from five. You can't possibly expect people to be five seconds or less from a bathroom. Even if they had been in a Wendy's parking lot when the kid said something they probably wouldn't have made it in and to the bathroom on a count of five.
WarMachine68 24
14, I hope there comes a day in your life when you're stuck in traffic on the freeway and you have to take a piss.
CrazyChiC42 10
The countdown suggests to me your kid is a jerk. He didn't have an accident; he counted down then let it loose. 10 seconds isn't even enough time to pull over and get him out. Hope you had him help clean up the mess and put him in pull-ups for road trips now.
human321 11
he is 5 and that's all he thought he could hold it
CrazyChiC42 10
My kids are 4 and 5. They whine until we can find a gas station if it's taking to long. They have never counted down and just given up on cue. If they go down they are going down trying and likely crying (they'd feel bad if they wet themselves).
james_logan 19
When I was 5 I held it for 8 hours on a 15 hour trip. When I felt like I was about to burst that's when I asked my parents to stop and they gladly did. Not smart of me, I know, but I was 5 and wanted to see how long I could hold it.
vicfirthfan 11
damn teenagers these days
3ph600v 15
You need to have your brakes fixed