Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year-old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a long road trip with my son. He had to pee, and told him he had to wait till I could stop the car. He started counting backwards from 10. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, I got a ride in a friend's car. As I sat down, her younger brother started laughing hysterically from the backseat. In between giggles, he admitted he peed there a few minutes ago. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML
Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML
Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML
Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML
Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, some kid on the bus kept pissing me off, making fart jokes and singing the Peppa Pig theme song on repeat. Angrily, I confronted him and asked him if he was 7. He retaliated with, "Yeah, 7 inches deep in your MOM!" FML
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Top comments
SirBedevere 0
Well son, that's just how some men like to have a good time.
zinoxity 23
Let's hope your kid doesn't try it out.
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Comments (210)
briannac1 0
Umm... They're playing Jack off.. Hopefully he won't say he wants to play!
fml_addict13 3
LMFAO! That, OP, is hilarious. FYL.
skyorpia101 4
Well mam congratulations, ur child has just witnessed gay ****
MrDbagManSir 3
Damn it he saw me!
MrDbagManSir 3
Just... shut up
NickAdenhart34 3
The guy said., you wanna jam my traffic
Stylin_Since_97 10
You must always have both hands on the steering wheel!!!! But the man obviously doesn't know that
pandaabear 2
i obviously need to pay more attention to other cars when im on the highway
blackxxjesusxx 0
Lol I read this and I screamed laughing my ass off
FailureFYL 0
Were they having sex?