Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML
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Top comments
MarkTheMintMan 21
You know what's more shitty than your situation? The puns that will come with this post.
justcommenting19 19
Does your name in any way correlate to this FML?
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Comments (42)
THEDUDE1553566 24
That's a stinky situation...my bad ill let myself out
syki 22
Like a bad case of the squirts.
omgwhatname 10
Well that's a shitty situation
emeraldisle 30
No
RickySleeves 20
Every time. -.-
Dale_shackleford 13
First.
cheeeksss 29
Hi. Welcome to FML. Judging by your comment, you must be new here. The FML community would like to inform you that we frown upon the "shitty situation" puns, for it has been used way too many times. We encourage insightfulness, meaningful advice, words of encouragement, and puns that are actually funny. Thank you and have a pleasant day.
justcommenting19 19
Does your name in any way correlate to this FML?
Tripartita 45
Nothing makes a healthier meal than nice, wholesome fishtitties!
tyler_the_asiann 16
So did you get a raise?
Mathalamus 25
what are the squits? ill probably regret asking...
InternetHobo 18
I believe OP meant squirts, as in poop
MrConfusion 21
Diarrhea
lysx84 24
I like this "squits" word. Seems to combine squirts, ***** and skitters (skits for short).
Alg1do 6
YDI. If you really did do that is beyond me.
hellobobismyname 24
And what would you do? Just pull your pants back up on your browned asshole and accept defeat without checking the other stalls first?
SmellMyEyes 9
did he at least bring toilet paper?
MarkTheMintMan 21
You know what's more shitty than your situation? The puns that will come with this post.
Aerobic_Exorcism 13
What's shittier than the puns? Your grammar.
mds9986 24
"Your grammar" is not a full sentence. :)
Aerobic_Exorcism 13
You're right. "Your grammar" is not a complete sentence because you left out the period at the end. As for its validity, it's perfectly proper to follow up a rhetorical question with an answer.
MarkTheMintMan 21
Can we not worry about grammar? I don't believe we're getting graded for this, professor.
TripleATeam 13
Well, to be honest, you knew you could get caught walking between the stalls. Did the boss bring you toilet paper?
v4valour 15
Not the first time a boss has caught an employee with his pants down