Today, some kid on the bus kept pissing me off, making fart jokes and singing the Peppa Pig theme song on repeat. Angrily, I confronted him and asked him if he was 7. He retaliated with, "Yeah, 7 inches deep in your MOM!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, I was on a standing on a crowded bus going home after school. A wriggling 5 year old boy and his mum left the seat to get off the bus. Since no one looked keen to sit on the seat, I did, only to find out that it was covered in pee. FML
Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, I fell asleep in the school bus on the way back home when my loud fart woke me and a few other kids up. I am a teacher. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Sadly, the kid probably knows what that means.
Warp1978 15
Ohhh burn!
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Comments (10)
Warp1978 15
Ohhh burn!
RichardPencil 32
Sadly, the kid probably knows what that means.
legalgravethief 8
You got owned, you’ll have to live with that! Move away to a island somewhere, start a new life, new identity, you’ll be fine
hopejm 5
whom ever the hell said that op deserved it IS AN IDIOT. I would have bitch slapped the kid myself. Pepa pug is for little kids and annoying!
derek 2
You shouldn’t be talking to your moms boyfriend that way
cocomoko 2
I just really hope they aren't siblings.
J1523 9
I am sorry but that shit is hilarious. First off, as annoying as the child may have been the more adult thing would have been to ignore it. By engaging with the child all you did was make yourself look like an ass and get owned by a 7 year old apparently. Its hilarious shit. I am sorry.
OnReceivingEnd 18
Response: "Then you really need to go back to school if you think that little banana slug in your pants is even CLOSE to seven inches long."