Today, while my mom was out, I took the car out to CVS to get some food, even though I'm not legally allowed to drive. As soon as I got back in the car, my mom pulled up 2 parking spaces away from me. She didn't notice me bend down to hide... until I accidentally hit the horn in the process. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, I was trying to do a nice thing and let my friend's mom borrow my car. I went to move my mom's car that was parked behind me so that I could get my car out, and then proceeded to back into my dad's new company car. FML
Today, my mom drove my car and had to make a U-turn on a narrow street. Instead of slowing down, she sped up to turn, running off the road and denting my car. To make things worse, she blamed me for not giving her good directions, then followed that up with, "It's not that bad." FML
Today, I decided to drive my mothers Bentley. She is out of town and told me not to go near the car. Being 17, I didn't listen. As I was backing out the driveway, I was hit by an SUV, seriously damaging my moms car. Who was driving the SUV? My mom, coming home early. FML
Today, I noticed a car following me all the way to my house. It was dark so I got really nervous and called the police. The person got out of the car. It was my mom. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I went to the bathroom at a gas station and locked the door. Turns out the lock was automatic and I'd actually unlocked it. My mom walked in on me, but instead of apologizing and leaving, she yelled at me in the middle of the gas station. FML
Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML
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Top comments
nerdsgetmehot 23
I stopped at "...even though I'm not legally allowed to drive." You're lucky that you didn't get pulled over, dumbass.
FFML_314 12
We all get a bit horny sometimes.
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Comments (160)
Cabbotage 0
you're an idiot. if you had an accident with someone you're uninsured. you would have paid for damage to ther car and yours abd legal costs, fines and all other expenses - thousands and thousands of dollars. you should be banned from driving for ten years. do you know how stupid that is? and you were worried about your Mum finding out. moron
DudeImBetter 0
This would never happen to me cause my cars horn broke is broken, I have a license, I don't shop at CVS for food, and I'm a dumbass.
DudeImBetter 0
my cars horn broke is broken*
FFML_314 12
*comma after me *because *no need for a comma after food Just trying to help out! (:
FFML_314 12
You think so? -Takes Kay to the backroom-
DocBastard 40
I'm *so* glad I was already hiding in the cupboard in the back room...
sourgirl101 29
Cupboard? Why were you in the kitchen?
FFML_314 12
Doc, you are not an Indian! Get out of the cupboard!
DudeImBetter 0
what's a ball-surfer? Also it's just because I was faded when I wrote that comment. when I'm faded I can't type for anything. I'm faded right now and this comment even took me a while to write.
Timbourke_fml 0
Idiot...you could ruin your family if you run over someone...
ygdrassil 17
Or someone else's family…
cali425 0
Well OP could ruin his/her family financially, in a way. That's the only way it makes sense to me.
DocBastard 40
This is one of the truest FMLs I've read in a while. Your life is truly ****** because your mother hopefully beat the living shit out of you and then grounded your dumb ass for a year.
anzie_fml 9
Yeah, but how the heck are you on the Internet? my mom, and probably everyone else's mom, would have taken away all things with Internet or any way to communicate with the rest of the world so that you wouldn't be able to complain to complete strangers. oh, hey, it looks like you didn't get in that big of trouble after all. you must be so freaking spoiled that all you got taken away was your weekly allowance. I bet that broke your poor wittle heart. yea, I am just that harsh. YSFDI
anzie_fml 9
by the way, I meant to say "I agree, Doc Bastard", then add to what you said...
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
you probably hit the horn with your oversized Neanderthal forehead. dumb ass
TheBeastmaster 0
lol ironic with that photo of yours...
MuchDance90s 0
not really he does not look like a neanderthal at all
allmidnighteyes 11
You couldn't bend down sideways? There's not a lot of room to bend down forward in the front seat of a car.
Not_Ever_Telling 3
Dumbass. Just call your mom and ask her to get some food next time.
Moshgra 0
It looks like the title has possible double meaning. CVS - buy condoms while moms away. whether or not im right YDMore than what you got.
easwhitey 0
Not allowed to legally drive? That means you either don't have ur lisence or you got it taken away. I'm not sure which is worse. Please stay the hell off the road.
sallen0046 4
So you stole your parent's car, illegally drove what is essentially an uninsured vehicle (since you don't have a license and can't get car insurance), and gambled with your ability to legally get your license when you're eligible to go to a store you mother was already going to so that you could get junk food. You are a gigantic moron, and deserve to have your license withheld. You don't get to complain about how ****** your life is because you got caught doing something that's not only stupid, but dangerous and illegal. **** your parent's lives for having to put up with your shit.
Tyrax 16
Well said, 41. Well said.