Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML
Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML
Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML
Today, I went to a party and saw my current boyfriend making out with my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, I was at dinner with my boyfriend. About 30 minutes into dinner and I see my exes come in, one by one. In the end, they were all sitting at the same table. My boyfriend got up and went to the bathroom. He came back and sat down with them. Apparently my boyfriend went through my phone and called all of them. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's entire extended family at a party. All of them, including his dad, said I looked exactly like his mum. FML
Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friends and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me as a friend to one of his friends. FML
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Top comments
mewzik 0
that could be seen as complimentary...
jgupta86 0
Why dont you stop being so melon-dramatic! Bahahahaha.... .... ... .... .... ... Im sorry, the temptation was just too much
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Comments (209)
mewzik 0
that could be seen as complimentary...
MetaCyanide 8
Yeah I agree... not an FML.
sublime93 0
So you have a boyfriend, AND big ****? Lotta girls would kill for that, so quit your bitchin
BeeSkwaird 0
Here, OP, lemme help you out: "FML" stands for "**** my life." It's used for when *bad* things happen to you. Glad I could help clarify that for you.
Reyo 2
Today, my boyfriend was showing off how big he thought my boobs were...which totally sucks for some reason. Did I mention that having big boobs is a bad thing? Yeah, I hate having big boobs dispite the fact that there are so many flat chested women who would love big boobs. It sucks being desirable...FML That's you, you shallow bitch.
mcsnelly 5
that's not exactly something girls want their boyfriends to be talking about with everyone, especially when THE GIRL IS THERE, TOO!! AND not all girls want big boobs!
Reyo 2
#116 =/= attractive. Only those that don't have what is desirable will say that they don't want it. ;)
mastory96 0
okay, I have D cup boobs, and I would kill for like, A or something. I hate big boobs. when I run they bounce so much, and I can't find a bra good enough to hold 'em. and when I talk to guys their eyes seem to *gravitate* towards my chest instead of my face. so yes, maybe OP was embarrassed about her big boobs. and the fact that people talk about her big boobs when she's not there.
DameGreyWulf 1
Only self-centered twats want big boobs. Unless they were flat (and adults, mind you), then it's more like "I want people to know I'm a girl" than anything. And there ARE such things as people who actually like their appearance and are satisfied with it. 125 is obviously the kind of person that makes 1st grade girls go on diets. But as for you, OP... who cares? It was the friend. You don't know if your boyfriend was actually going "yeah love my gal's ****!" with him, since you just walked in. It's just as likely that the friend randomly did the act with no provocation. Unless by "his chest" you mean the friend's chest, not your boyfriend's, then... well, still, who cares?
sobe23 0
Me too!! Omgosh it is such a pain in the ass too! I can't wear little bikinis, nothing supports me, (btw, im 34 D so im not fat), prom dress shopping kinda sucked because I would find a great dress but it wouldn't fit in my chest and the next size up was too big. I wish I was a good ol' C. lol.
gothymama 0
I was thinking the same thing as #1. I'd take that as a compliment! Then again, nobody's complimented my body in a long time! And I'm married. So FML!
CityHunter_fml 0
amen.
gonzolove 0
#125, what is considered "desirable" varies from culture to culture.
newmanlyman3 8
he was holding up grapes I thought? lolz. XD.
Girreth 7
I dunno, personally, I find large breasts unnattractive.
ACanadaGuy 0
Better than If he was holding up a couple of grapes.
stef108 3
I thought for sure you were going to say something like u caught him making out with another girl or something..but as far as the boob thing..it's not a big deal..and if u have big boobs I'm sure this is not the first time you've got attention from them like that so why are u acting so shocked? This is not an FML
ZeusBeDubsteppin 24
uhmm girls wanting big boobs doesn't make you a self-centered twat. I like mine and i have big boobs. its also my preference.
victoria676 0
First but lol fyl
AcesAndEights 0
Fail
reader101 0
well it prob means they like you?
Jollie 0
or her ****
Jonno8825 0
ether one, still good
kukopia 0
What, precisely, is the difference??
ZleveL 0
^ lolwin!
fightingstyle1 0
umm, whats a friend friend?
BuckyC60 0
a friend of a friend, basically, her boyfriend does not really know the other guy, the other guy came with one of the boyfriend's friends probably. but yeah... so not an fml, rather yet, a compliment, in any case they were not expecting for you to hear them or see their demo, lol.
shuttuplily 0
well now you can't eat melons without thinking about that ahahaha their TAINTED!!
PrimeRibYum 10
They're*
lives_ppl 0
I hate those superficial people who make fun of girls with smaller boobs. I actually think that smaller boobs have their own hotness and bigger ones are a pain in real life.
actorkidrox 0
Small boobs can be pretty hot. Not gonna lie.
skim1994 0
rofl well the bigger ones are gonna be pretty saggy when they grow older
ChristineAnn58 8
Melons are BIG, retard.
Kervik 0
I do not understand where the FML is here.
tingting1 0
meh
JarJarBinks_fml 0
Please fail more at life, retard
apprentice 0
Hahahaha!
laurr_rawrs 0
I don't see how this is an FML...