Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
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Top comments
mahade 0
I signed up especially to leave this comment: MARRY THAT GIRL!
SlightlyGPirate 0
hahahahhahaaha damn that sucks, butt that just made my day xD
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Comments (208)
purple_riot 0
The real FML is that you haven't realised how cool your girlfriend is!
FinnGirl12 2
I don't see the FML in this...that girl is AWESOME.
apriljrdn 0
haha thats totally something i would do. P.s. keep that girl. she's not afraid of who she is and that's rare :D
Nocturnalbamf 0
she sounds freaky as hell, if your life is effed because of that then give her my number
asummerstorm 0
That is not an FML. That's awesome.
Red_Cloud 1
The **** bro? That is NOT an fml, thats just ******* awesome.
shirvon100 0
she torched your ass,
hank2222 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that's the best thing I think I've ever heard! Kudos to a hilarious girlfriend. But... She did cry wolf. Next time smack her ass and start workin her even harder.
ChChCharlie 10
That seriously made my day!! Hahahaha total mood killer - but AWESOME xD Lmfao
el_cid 0
I was drinking a soda, while i read this. My monitor is sticky now. ******* awesome comment. Praise your girl, she's the one.