Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
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Top comments
mahade 0
I signed up especially to leave this comment: MARRY THAT GIRL!
SlightlyGPirate 0
hahahahhahaaha damn that sucks, butt that just made my day xD
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Comments (208)
tori96 0
oh shit thats great!! shes a keeper.. lol.
iLucid 0
I you laid on your side and just smiled and laughed...
nokka 5
Your girlfriend is awesome! Takes a certain type to really embrace sexual humor... No rating: Not an FML and definitely no YDI for thinking it is one! ^^
snuffaluphagus 0
ahahhaahahaha omg! this made me laugh, your girlfriend has an awsome sense of humour, so this is not a fml. lol, seriously. this is hilarious.
Hellraizr93 0
HAHAHAHAHAHA dude this is beautiful!!!! your gf is a legend!
HiImAlex 0
sense of humor, get one
fonz_fml 0
im sorry, but that was so funny. im so gunna try that
A1exander123 0
Same thing happened when we were in the cafeteria eating, and Sgt. shouted "STOP!!", everyone stopped, looked at him and he went "Hammer Time!!", then he and other members of the respected British Army started dancing, uuugh...
Lady_Lakura 0
You must marry this girl, then again if you think this is an FML, you don't truly deserve her. You should have danced with her!
skeptictruth 0
you r a really sweet guy of thinking that she might be hurt.... what happened was unfortunate... but i think she is great too!