Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
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Top comments
mahade 0
I signed up especially to leave this comment: MARRY THAT GIRL!
SlightlyGPirate 0
hahahahhahaaha damn that sucks, butt that just made my day xD
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Comments (208)
Failwolf 0
That's not an FML, that's damn hilarious! Should have joined in, you got a keeper!
Ows_fml 0
Cool girlfriend. You gotta keep her
Sjnous 0
HAHAH! You've got an amazing girlfriend! :D
stella2fast 2
ahahahaha i just got a kick out of that one. thats hilarious! shes funny
BeatlesKidAlways 0
Sorry you didn't finish having sex, but what happened doesn't seem so bad. Once I read an FML that said, "Today, I walked into my bedroom and my husband was standing there naked, with his back turned at me. I quickly got undressed thinking he wanted to have sex, and when he noticed I was in the room, he turned around. He had drawn a little face on his penis and he was talking to it." Another one that was hilarious like yours was, "Today I was having sex with my boyfriend and when I moaned his name, he replied, "I'm not Jim. It's-a-me, Mario!"
sleepywutang 0
ohh had to sign up when i saw this!! dude you gf is epic!
Danny_Cannibal 0
I've read about three different FML's that are all exactly like this... See, a normal person would find this odd; But I have done this exact thing to my girlfriend on multiple occasions... ^^ *MCHammer shuffle*
CarterColbie 4
Lmao your girlfriend is awesome.
jesusjammies 0
Uh yeah this is funny I guess but everyone here is like ******** their pants, "OMG UR GIRLFRIEND IS EPIC JESUS MATERIAL I JUST SHIT MY PANTS LOLZ MC HAMMER I"M DYING LOLZ!!!!1!!1" Maybe it was funnier to me THE FIRST TIME I READ THIS SAME EXACT POST ON THIS WEBSITE... Maybe.
vsk8p1mp720 0
maybe she was mental or something retarded