Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
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Top comments
mahade 0
I signed up especially to leave this comment: MARRY THAT GIRL!
SlightlyGPirate 0
hahahahhahaaha damn that sucks, butt that just made my day xD
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Comments (208)
ktis2gd4u 1
this was hilarious!!!!! it made me cry it was soooo funny
Delahelacopter 0
lol, I fell in love with a girl like that once, never did that EXACT thing, but stuff similar. =) thanks for the reminding me of the fond memories
ravermurdercase 0
You gotta admit though, thats quite possibly one of the best ways to stop having sex.
sarahlowry23 0
omg she is hillarious ahahaha!! uhhh thank you for sharing i had a great laugh ;p
Rach_star 0
LOL.
Dizzyj_125 0
U gotta learn how to laugh guy!!! If that makes u wanna whine about something as awesome as that u must have worse problems than what's goin on in the bedroom. Finish or not, that's a move u should remember to smile about!!! Take it lightly and throw a funny at her next time! DO THE HUSTLE or sumthin
kredd91 11
hahahaha thats great. i laughed so hard when i read that.
slag_ 0
ROFLMFAO i wanna do that !!!! ur girlfriend is awesome marry her. seriously . marry her.
ilovspicysasuage 0
maby you should have hammerd her harder so she didnt have to say that
brianjman14 23
lmfao she's a stupid retard but she's hilarious