Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
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Top comments
mahade 0
I signed up especially to leave this comment: MARRY THAT GIRL!
SlightlyGPirate 0
hahahahhahaaha damn that sucks, butt that just made my day xD
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Comments (208)
GeekLogic 0
If a girl does this, "she's got a great sense of humor". If a guy does this, "he's a weirdo". :/
upintheorange 5
actually, I thought the guy who did this was equally funny.
Pointy130 0
Dude can I have your girlfriend?
FoundManyLemons 0
Buy a clue! It's time to leave.
meepmeep_fml 0
dude, clearly you don't deserve this girl if you can't appreciate how awesome that was.
MLSxxox 3
Haha lol thts so funny
suicidalmashmelo 0
...aha, when girls leave FML's like this people comment saying how not to complain as they would deffonatley date them as they have an awesome sence of humour and would love to date them.... ....just a thought :L
ayylash 0
excuse me sir, I believe you are on the wrong website. may I redirect you to mylifeisaverage.com? or may I suggest you get a sense of humor?
looking_glass 0
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
n_jay 0
haha that so sounds like something i'd do! lol she's my hero haha
plexico 4
She was saying "U Can't Touch This" anymore.
XRiseToFallAgain 0
Lawl, I can so see that. Btw, your life's not ******.