Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mahade 0
I signed up especially to leave this comment: MARRY THAT GIRL!
SlightlyGPirate 0
hahahahhahaaha damn that sucks, butt that just made my day xD
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (208)
brianjman14 23
lmfao I can so see that
akkid17 0
soooo... what you're saying is that you're innaffective as a lover and that you're girlfriend is hilarious
HXCxSceneKidx 0
Dudeeee that is fuckedddd up
chocolatemoose 0
Hahaha, that stuff is funny. There's nothing wrong with random humor during sex.
Joshb306 0
YDI for being a lousy ****
a_nix777 0
umm, fml?? that's ****** hilarious.
kurukururock 0
I imagine you're dating one of those extremely immature Anime-loving "omg random!!!1!1!1" chicks.
jchansfan 0
Nahhh... Animeloving people that go on about how "random" they are aren't actually funny most of the time. His girl is too funny to be one of them going off this... :P
lost_romance 0
well i think ur gf is on some dope or something
gorbagil 0
The best fml i hav ever read
ajlardner 0
THIS BELONGS ON MLIAAA JOIN USSS JOINS USSSS
MLSxxox 3
#45 has a point...