Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

Suave

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML

Knock next time please

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

Pick your moments, dude!

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML

Today, after a busy afternoon taking care of the kids, I was feeling really down about only being a mom these days, and I was hoping my husband would make me feel better when he got off work. In the middle of cuddling, he called me "mom." FML

Freudian slip

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML