Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
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Top comments
Savra_fml 17
First he puts on dirty underwear after a shower, and now this! Stop giving head OP!
nick347b 6
He's enjoying it. Trust me, I'm a guy.
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Comments (221)
ALLDAY88 8
Must have been some moneysnot.
chubby_choco 17
If you catch him doing that again, withhold ******* privileges. If he asks why, tell him to stop mining for gold while you're working in the shaft. Ooh, puns.
Sayexguy1991 4
Haha that sucks. But nothing that goggle can't fix :p
_words_of_wisdom 4
ah i see, i think your problem is that you are boring him. if you are not using your tongue then that would definitely be a good start, and try going at various speeds. i am not speaking of experience but i would hope that this helps
_words_of_wisdom 4
. . . **** you. . .
FilthyPazuzu 3
Didn't you know, that's a fetish, getting a hummer while picking your nose.
MyloXylotoGirl 0
I would of stopped haha
KatherineM24 0
i would have bit that shit!!!!
steveotheking 0
I would have punched you so hard in the top of the head I would have blown your mind
uniquefreak99 4
I don't think you needed to add that you were doing that..... We don't need to hear about that. -.-
sbarua219 17
Lol that's actually pretty funny