Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Savra_fml 17
First he puts on dirty underwear after a shower, and now this! Stop giving head OP!
nick347b 6
He's enjoying it. Trust me, I'm a guy.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (221)
darkstar953 0
give me some head ..
garethsmart 0
******* legend
pmnilsen 2
Maybe if you were doing it right......
apatel02 7
If she starts picking her nose then how is she gonna breathe? Lol
linkinpark98 24
*gets distracted while reading this FML*.....
Driveshaft 5
Next time you be vigorous and he may forget he even has a nose...ydi
ilikeemsmall 4
A punch to the nuts should get his attention out of his nose.
zoe768532 1
And then u bite his dick very hard and then he will notice what's going on.
_words_of_wisdom 4
**** you and anyone who says "bite his dick" how bout the next time a girl fakes an ****** or just doesnt seem too into it, the guy just grabs her **** and yanks as hard as he can or he clamps down on her clit as hard as he can with his nails.
angelitared 27
U should of bit his penis and made him cry like a little girl
_words_of_wisdom 4
not cool, i dont care how much of an asshole hes being, you dont bite a guys dick. just try it, instead of screaming like a little girl he'll probably punch you in the ******* head, i would.
jacob4592 0
Hahahahaha