Today, I used Siri to text my VP asking for a good time to talk. Siri helpfully changed the text to ask for a "good time to talk my dick" and sent it before I could change it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized the only "person" I have talked to in the last two days is Siri. FML
Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML
Today, I texted my boss, "I'm looking forward to doing you" instead of, "I'm looking forward to seeing you" thanks to a very unfortunate combination of my atrocious typing skills on a smartphone and an overzealous autocorrect function. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML
Today, I was setting up a computer before a big work meeting. I noticed the software they were using had a text to speech feature. I thought it would be funny to make it say obscene things, then delete it. When the meeting started, the speakers blared, “The VP is gay hahahaha” in a robotic voice. I was fired. FML
Today, I accidentally sent a text message meant for my best friend to my boss. The text was about how much I hated my job and my boss's constant micromanagement. FML
Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML
Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML
Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML
Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML
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Top comments
Druu 53
Tune in next week for a new episode of "Sexual Harassment Seminar or Unexpected Promotion"!!
Tripartita 45
Quick! There's still time for you to spill a hot beverage on your crotch and try to explain to your VP that Siri just wrote out your exclamation of pain!
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Comments (14)
Druu 53
Tune in next week for a new episode of "Sexual Harassment Seminar or Unexpected Promotion"!!
Tripartita 45
Quick! There's still time for you to spill a hot beverage on your crotch and try to explain to your VP that Siri just wrote out your exclamation of pain!
CrownedQueen 15
-In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories...DUN DUN-
JadeMinu 10
Siri is the biggest savage i know lmfao.
infinitemonkey 21
You should have texted him back and said "oops, Siri corrected 'suck' to 'talk.'"
pjsr 33
There's never a bad time to talk about your own dick, right?
CantTouchThat 29
You must talk about dicks a lot..you might want to work on that..
RichardPencil 32
That could work. For the meating, wear clean underwear (or none) and bring lotion and kneepads -- depending on how the VP read it.
species4872 20
That'll teach for being so lazy.
mattyiscool123 26
Isn't that in a Chris brown song?
nider 19
Siri doesn't send unless you confirm the message. This is fake news.
Mr_Mole 24
I agree. You have to say yes to confirm it's correct before sending.