Today, I was in the Walmart parking lot listening to some music in my car and some lady comes up to me and say, “Boy, the music you listen to is so unholy, I think you need some Jesus in your life.” FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, during a family road trip, my mom decided to spring a surprise conversion on us. This included screaming bible verses, blasting crazy gospel music and sobbing that we needed to repent before we’re all condemned to hell for eternity. She did this for 4 hours straight. FML
Today, I was riding in a carpool when we passed a church that has a shady reputation. I said, "Man, all those people are being brainwashed, it's a cult". The lady sitting in the back seat behind me says, "I'm a member of that church…" OOPS. Silence. FML
Today, I decided to listen to some music at work, so I plugged in my headphones and turned on Spotify. Only the music decided to play out loud instead. I was called a “disrespectful little bitch who wasn’t raised right” for not using my headphones. FML
Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML
Today, I overheard a lady tell her child in a store that, “If you don’t stop crying, I’ll tell that guy over there to take you away.” She was referring to me. FML
Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said, "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML
Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
iknoweverything 2
I assume it was metal. 🤘🏻 right on
rainbowdonnareed 18
Next time tell her your a clone from the church of Satan like Taylor Swift. Was she the walmart repent lady?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
iknoweverything 2
I assume it was metal. 🤘🏻 right on
Talented73 54
That depends.... what were you listening to?
rainbowdonnareed 18
Next time tell her your a clone from the church of Satan like Taylor Swift. Was she the walmart repent lady?
giraffe_poop 8
🤣
dougierocks 13
Maybe you do. I was in Walmart parking lot a month ago and two women with their 6ish year old kids had WAP playing loud enough that you could hear it in the next aisle
BurnInDemonFire 39
Someone can't **** with the wet-ass pussy...
Alan Staff 59
dougierocks is Ben Shapiro's alt account
BurnInDemonFire 39
BurnInDemonFire likes Alan's comment.
ThorCTF 12
Why do you care what a random zealot in a WALLMART parking lot of all places thinks of your choice of music.