Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went shooting with my dad and he brought his grandfather's rifle with him. I’ve never shot it before and he told me to be careful with it. The bullet exploded, ruptured the barrel, cut my face, and made me deaf in one ear. Dad still blamed me for “not shooting it properly.” FML
Today, I saw a gun on my dad's bedside table. I knew it wasn't real, so I picked it up and posed like a badass. Then I shot a hole in their bedroom TV, blew out my eardrums, and my mom flew in and started screaming at me. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML
Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML
Today, my boyfriend crossed a line with his bullshit "jokes". At dinner, he once again annoyed my dad by insisting that the "AR" in "AR-15" means "assault rifle". My dad is an NRA gun nut, so he finally blew up and told him that he was going to "AR his nuts if he didn't quit fucking with him." FML
Today, I heard something that sounded like a series of gunshots outside my house. My Dad screamed, "Get down!" at the top of his lungs. The whole family immediately dropped to the floor, my sister whimpering and trembling, only moments later to hear my Dad cackling uncontrollably over us. They were just fireworks. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML
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Top comments
Nico_di_AngeloX 13
What the ****? Did your dad never learn proper gun safety? FYL OP.
nix1993 41
Your Dad's a ****
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Comments (192)
PsychicBulwark 4
Father of the Year amirite
ChewyJew0608 5
That was a pretty ******* stupid move on his part. He should have his gun privileges suspended.
JebMcdeber 11
Are you not from the States? We don't have gun privileges, we have gun "rights". Even when we shouldn't. I agree with the sentiment, but taking away his gun would be next to impossible unless he's a felon.
Lalala579121 28
Most states still require a license to own firearms.
Badkarma4u 17
No they dont. Only a few states require licensing to purchase..
CaptainSmith28 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Honestly that sounds like something I would do to one of my friends.
CaptainSmith28 19
But then again I live in the south so others may not understand.
JebMcdeber 11
Do people from the south not respect guns? I don't want to play into stereotypes, but shit, they're not toys.
1steveo1230 2
Gun safety is not pointing a gun at someone.
Sparx1_1 16
In case you have not gotten the memo - people have died from being shot at with blanks. The paper wadding in the cartridge is still propelled from the gun and if it hits the right spot can kill you.
Badkarma4u 17
Blanks are only deadly at close range. People have been using blanks to pretend to shoot each other for decades. What his father did was stupid and unfunny but unless he was very close to him it wasnt dangerous.
simongren 5
OP, you have something to remind your father of when it's time for you to pick him out a retirement home. I wouldn't mention it until then though - just save your money and get out of there as fast as you can.
jmagd781 16
only in the United States would this kind of thing happen.
christopherwilli 14
Yeah
Bragi 12
Not cool. More people die from unloaded guns and blanks... FYL.
swampbaby985 30
Guess your dad was shooting blanks...
Lalala579121 28
I think OP is evidence enough that he wasn't.
freddygasman 18
time for him to find a snake in his bed when he goes to sleep.
JarOfPeachz 9
the father would probably feel like absolute shit if he accidentally used a real bullet.
morghandi 21
Didn't Brandon Lee die from a blank?
iwadasn 33
I'm pretty sure blanks are still fatal if they're shot from close range.
JebMcdeber 11
Yeah, an improperly deactivated "dummy" round got stuck in the barrel, and then when they switched to blanks, the bullet was fired with about the same force as a regular .44 round.