Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went shooting with my dad and he brought his grandfather's rifle with him. I’ve never shot it before and he told me to be careful with it. The bullet exploded, ruptured the barrel, cut my face, and made me deaf in one ear. Dad still blamed me for “not shooting it properly.” FML
Today, I saw a gun on my dad's bedside table. I knew it wasn't real, so I picked it up and posed like a badass. Then I shot a hole in their bedroom TV, blew out my eardrums, and my mom flew in and started screaming at me. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML
Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML
Today, my boyfriend crossed a line with his bullshit "jokes". At dinner, he once again annoyed my dad by insisting that the "AR" in "AR-15" means "assault rifle". My dad is an NRA gun nut, so he finally blew up and told him that he was going to "AR his nuts if he didn't quit fucking with him." FML
Today, I heard something that sounded like a series of gunshots outside my house. My Dad screamed, "Get down!" at the top of his lungs. The whole family immediately dropped to the floor, my sister whimpering and trembling, only moments later to hear my Dad cackling uncontrollably over us. They were just fireworks. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML
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Top comments
Nico_di_AngeloX 13
What the ****? Did your dad never learn proper gun safety? FYL OP.
nix1993 41
Your Dad's a ****
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Comments (192)
christopherwilli 14
Sounds like something they would do on jackass but on jackass they would probably pull the trigger
soulreaper12296 28
OP's father did pull the trigger. But apparently to the father since he loaded it with blanks and not live bullets that makes it perfectly fine.
GAeroNKissR 26
wow, that's some straight up child abuse. totally uncool
FFStepchild283 24
You don't deserve that...my fat fingers accidentally clicked the "YDI" button. I'm sorry, shit like this drives me nuts because it gives people who do everything in their power to be safe gun owners and then people like your father do shit like this. Sure, he loaded blanks but it still violates the #1 rule of always aim in a safe direction and only aim at what you intend to shoot!
buddy_J 16
How did I know this was going to be a post from somebody in the USA
soulreaper12296 28
And your dad is a prime example of why almost everyone wants stricter gun-control.
Badkarma4u 17
And how would gun control have prevented this? If his father wasn't a criminal, nor someone who had seen a doctor for psychological problems, never been in any domestic disputes there's no way to prevent it. People are going to do stupid things passing a law won't prevent that.
Adolf_Hipster13 13
Your dad is a boss
SamMelody 11
No OPs dad is a **** tard.
Attacksloth 33
He's lucky that he didn't accidentally grab a live round. Mistakes like that happen.
JebMcdeber 11
It'd be great if you could bury his guns in the yard (be careful when you cut the sod) and tell him he can have them back when he learns some responsibility.
FieryMite 4
Grab gun at two am load with blanks and unload in his room
AdamTB 26
It's not something to laugh about in reality. A prank like this is incredibly dangerous, and just one mistake in executing it could have caused the OP to be killed or seriously injured. Not to mention the fact that the dad still pointed a REAL gun and fired it. No matter the result, if that happened to me then I would not simply be laughing about it later.